It's Pride 2022 but many people still continue to question why gay people need to express their sexuality or speak out and share their authentic self. Perhaps It is hard to imagine how it feels to have to hide parts of yourself when you are in a position of privilege. However, I believe that everyone has a responsibility to listen to others who do not have the same privileges and join them in the fight for equality in this world.
My guest shares very honestly and openly what it feels like to grow up without a voice. What it feels like to not be seen and expected to follow unrealistic rules in a culture and family that follows traditions strictly. What it feels like to be loved conditionally and how hard she has been trying to be loved for who she actually is.
Discussed in the episode:
- How feeling unseen as the youngest growing up in a large family and constantly compared to older siblings, led to making life choices that were very different and may not have been made otherwise (1:35)
- Beginning to question on what basis past decisions were made (5:10)
- Trying to be different and stand out was seen as rebellion (8:23)
- Moving away to study at the age eighteen was eye opening and developed a new awareness and confidence (10:00)
- Daily calls from back home with a 7pm curfew to abide by, started to be challenged and questioned (14:20)
- Explaining the family dynamic of perpetrator-victim-rescuer (16:45)
- Growing up in a family where girls and boys are separated until it is time to marry (17:55)
- Exploring what it is to be gay and the need to escape from arranged marriage (23:45)
- The relief that followed after expressing her needs for the first time at the age of twenty-four (31:00)
- Not wanting to lie anymore and speaking her truth to family and friends, gave her more confidence regardless of the outcome (32:30)
- Explaining the benefits of healing past traumas with therapy and the power of recognizing personal triggers (37:30)
- The power of language and how rephrasing what we say can change how we make others feel (42:00)
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