Both Mahe and his dad Tui were raised by their Tongan grandmothers. In the last episode of the series, father and son discuss namesakes, queerness, and parenting through fear and uncertainty.
Content warning: This episode contains reference to domestic violence and discussion of losing children.
Watch the video version of the episode here
Both Mahe and his dad Tui were raised by their Tongan grandmothers. In the last episode of the series, father and son discuss namesakes, queerness, and parenting through fear and uncertainty.
Mahe and his dad Tui Pofele share a heartfelt conversation in the last episode of Conversations with My Immigrant Parents. Tui arrived in Tāmaki Makaurau from Tonga when he was very young, although he is unsure of his exact age when he arrived, and is unable to corroborate it.
"No-one tells my story properly," Tui recalls, "They have no record of me entering New Zealand. That's why I always joke and say, 'Well give my tax money back.' So I gather I came really young."
Tui also had Mahe when he was young, becoming a father for the first time at age 20. When he and Mahe's mother separated, Tui's mother Manaema took care of Mahe so that Tui could work enough to be able to support Mahe and his siblings. Mahe credits Manaema with a lot of his upbringing and character, saying, "She's embedded in me." Mahe describes his grandmother's sacrifices as motivation to work hard and strive for excellence in his own life.
One of the reasons Mahe put himself and Tui forward for the podcast was to have more of a discussion about his sexuality, which he had revealed to his father a few years earlier.
"I knew that I was bisexual, and even if you took it badly, I was prepared to just carry on with my life anyway, because for me, I wanted to be fully happy."
Mahe also talks a little more about what it's like occupying a liminal space in terms of his sexuality. He says that often he feels bisexual men are not truly accepted in either gay or straight communities, and that he struggles to make and maintain queer friendship groups.
The makers of this podcast want to extend a special note of gratitude to Mahe and Tui for sharing their time and stories. Tui's wife Lovi was very ill when this podcast recording took place and, tragically, she passed away not long after.