logo
episode-header-image
Apr 2023
15m 50s

84. Quick Thinks: How Others Define Us

Matt Abrahams, Think Fast Talk Smart
About this episode

“The self is incompatible with freedom, the way most people understand it, because the self is a constraint,” says social psychologist and professor of organizational behavior Brian Lowery. “The ‘you’ you’re talking about is actually the relationships you have, the social interactions you have and the cultural context you exist in."

In this Quick Thinks episode of Think Fast, Talk Smart, Lowery sits down with podcast host and lecturer in strategic communications Matt Abrahams to talk about his new book, Selfless: The Social Creation of You. Lowery argues that there is no essential “self” — our selves are creations of those we interact with — exploring what that means for who we can be and who we allow others to be. He also shares research on how asking deeply personal questions can be a tool for deepening relationships. 


Connect:

Up next
Oct 7
234. Need to Know: Lead With Transparency, Character, and Silence
When it comes to leading a team, there’s no such thing as too much information.Good leadership is about good communication. And for General Stanley McChrystal, that means creating a culture of free-flowing information: “The goal is to have everyone know everything all the time,” ... Show More
25m 20s
Oct 2
233. Tech Tools: Write with Confidence and Impact
Transform how you communicate with tools that make your message stick.Clarity is the cornerstone of great communication—but turning your thoughts into words isn’t always simple. That’s why Grammarly exists: to help you express yourself with confidence and precision, no matter the ... Show More
11m 54s
Sep 29
232. Pause, Don’t Panic: Finding Calm in High-Stakes Moments
To connect with others, you have to get out of your own head.Whether presenting to millions on live television or talking to just one person, Dan Harris knows that the quality of every interaction depends on the presence you bring to it.Harris is a former national news anchor for ... Show More
27m 15s
Recommended Episodes
Feb 2024
At the Money: Why Self-Insight Is So Important
How well do you understand yourself? For investors, it is an important question. We're co-conspirators in self-deception and this prevents us from having accurate self-knowledge. This does not lead to good results in the markets.  To explain, Barry Ritholtz welcomes David Dunning ... Show More
14m 9s
Sep 2020
Imposter Syndrome and Other Curiosities
Sponsored by BrilliantThis episode is kindly supported by Brilliant, the best way to learn maths, science, and computer science online. Brilliant focuses on helping you learn how to think, rather than just memorising methods and facts. Sign up at https://brilliant.org/notoverthin ... Show More
48m 4s
Oct 2020
Book Discussion - The Psychology of Money
In this episode, we discuss Morgan Housel’s book The Psychology of Money. We explore some of the key points, like the role that luck plays in success, why poor people buy lottery tickets, and the differences between getting wealthy and staying wealthy.LinksThe Psychology of Money ... Show More
43m 39s
Oct 2020
Dissatisfaction and Aspiration
In this episode, we start by discussing an insight Ali had about the nature of dissatisfaction and setting overly high standards for ourselves. We then turn to the start of a book discussion, where Taimur explains some of the theories he’s been reading around our values, how they ... Show More
1h 5m
Jan 2021
Book Discussion - The Tyranny of Merit
In this episode, we discuss Michael J Samuel's book the Tyranny of Merit, which talks about the problems with the ideals of Meritocracy. We take a look at the history of the Rhetoric of Rising, and end with a discussion about why praising people for their achievements feels probl ... Show More
1h 37m
Dec 2020
Disappointment, Seriousness and Sincerity
In this episode, Ali shares a disappointing moment from his week when System 1 thinking took hold of him. We then discuss Alan Watts' famous framing of life as a game with two modes of operation - serious vs sincere. Taimur shares some lessons from his therapy sessions, and we en ... Show More
1h 1m
Oct 2020
Book Discussion - The Psychology of Money Part 2
This is the second part of our discussion of Morgan Housel’s book The Psychology of Money. We continue to explore some of the key points, like the role that luck plays in success, why poor people buy lottery tickets, and the differences between getting wealthy and staying wealthy ... Show More
1h 1m
Sep 2020
Book Discussion - The 4-Hour Work Week
Sponsored by BrilliantThis episode is kindly supported by Brilliant, the best way to learn maths, science, and computer science online. Brilliant focuses on helping you learn how to think, rather than just memorising methods and facts. Sign up at https://brilliant.org/notoverthin ... Show More
1h 22m
Nov 2020
Austin Kleon on Writing, Creativity and The Importance of Idleness
This is an 'inbetweenasode' and features an interview Ali did with Austin Kleon as part of his Deep Dive series last month. Austin Kleon is the bestselling author of a trilogy of books about creativity and originality in the digital age. His three books - Steal Like An Artist, Sh ... Show More
2h 2m
Dec 2020
Probing Questions to Reflect on 2020
In this episode, we answer some reflective end-of-year review questions. We introspect about new ways we've had fun in 2020, new ways we've suffered in 2020, and what lessons we'd teach to others. Enjoy!-------------------------------------Sponsored by SkillshareThis episode is ... Show More
58m 49s