logo
episode-header-image
Feb 2023
56m 29s

A Radical Alternative to Revenge | sujat...

10% Happier
About this episode

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.

---

Very often, when somebody pisses us off, our first instinct might be to plan some sort of revenge even if we rarely, if ever, actually follow through with it. Obviously, the trait of revenge seeking is counterproductive and it happens to also feel terrible. All the great wisdom traditions tell us that we should be forgiving instead and this isn’t just some sort of finger wagging from the morality police; it’s just straight up good advice. It’s in your best interest not to be coiled up inside endless revenge fantasies. Of course, this is all easier said than done.

Today, though, our guest, sujatha baliga, both says it, and does it. She has an extraordinary story: she was horribly abused by a family member, and then, after an encounter with his Holiness the Dalai Lama, learned how to forgive the seemingly unforgivable. What’s more, she now helps other people do that. Perhaps, starting now, even you.

sujatha baliga is a long time Buddhist practitioner and internationally recognized leader in the field of restorative justice. She was named a 2019 MacArthur Fellow and is working on her first book. 

Content Warning: This episode includes multiple references to violent and traumatic experiences, including homicide and incest.

In this episode we talk about:

  • Her personal story, including her early experience with sexual assault within her family
  • Her life-changing encounter with his Holiness the Dalai Lama, and her experience with learning to forgive with the help of meditation
  • Her experience working in the criminal justice system 
  • Her definition of restorative justice, why she believes we need it, and the three key questions it asks in each case
  • Whether there is evidence that restorative justice works
  • The limits of restorative justice
  • What happens if someone who is the victim of a crime does want traditional punishment or even revenge
  • How you can apply what she’s learned in her life — including her time in the field of restorative justice — to our own lives
  • And a specific meditation practice that can help you do it

Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/sujatha-baliga-565

Up next
Yesterday
The Science Of Manifestation: Can This Stanford Neuroscientist Convince A Skeptical Dan To Give It A Shot? | Dr. James R. Doty
Six practical steps to harness the full power of your mind. Our guest today is James R. Doty, a neurosurgeon who has just written a whole book about the science of manifestation – although, as you’ll hear him admit, there’s very little ‘magic’ involved in his process. James R. Do ... Show More
1h 16m
Jul 7
Ezra Klein On: Sane News Consumption; The Power of Meditation; The Future of the Species; And the Message of His Tattoo
On maintaining sanity in insane times. Ezra Klein is an opinion columnist and host of the award-winning Ezra Klein Show podcast at The New York Times. His latest book is Abundance, co-authored with Derek Thompson. He is also the author of Why We’re Polarized, an instant New York ... Show More
1h 15m
Jul 6
How Meditation Can Help You Handle Injured Feelings and Injured Muscles | Dawn Mauricio
Plus: How to build a meditation practice you keep coming back to. We’re in the midst of an exciting evolution of the overall 10% Happier project. In our quest to make this podcast more actionable – to help you operationalize all the game-changing ideas you encounter on this pod – ... Show More
24m 38s
Recommended Episodes
Dec 2019
011 | Najwa | Why Forgiveness Will Set You Free
We have a special show today as good friend and business partner, Corey interviews Najwa who shares her how her take on forgiveness has evolved over the years. This show is a deeply personal one as Najwa shares some heart-wrenching details about how her near and dear ones caused ... Show More
38m 47s
Sep 2022
Nine Steps to Forgiveness
How do you forgive someone while still holding them accountable? What if that person is yourself? This week, our guest tries a practice in forgiving herself and someone else. Link to episode transcript: https://tinyurl.com/3mbkrn9u Episode summary: Anoosha Syed appreciates her na ... Show More
18m 35s
Jan 2024
Which Way To Forgiveness? | Stoic Advice For Living Longer And Happier
It’s a story as old as it gets. Marcus Aurelius felt it when Cassius attempted his coup. Maybe he felt it with his step brother Lucius Verus. Epictetus, waking up to find his house broken into, his shrine desecrated. Imagine the feeling of Rutilius Rufus, learning that he’d been ... Show More
18m 44s
Apr 2024
Let them see you cry, by Reshma Saujani
Reshma Saujani, activist and founder of Girls Who Code and Moms First, prides herself on being in control. She’s always been the one to say “I got this.” But after years of struggling to achieve her lifelong goal of being a mother, the weight of powering through the pain gets to ... Show More
32m 55s
Jun 2019
Donna Hylton on Healing and Hope
Donna Hylton is a women’s rights activist and criminal justice reform advocate. Donna speaks publicly about the issues facing incarcerated women and girls and the significant impact the significant increase in the female prison population is having on families, children and our c ... Show More
43m 29s
Apr 2019
La vengeance : est-ce que ça sert vraiment à quelque chose de se venger ?
Dans ce nouvel épisode d’Émotions, nous nous interrogeons sur l’origine de la vengeance. Pourquoi, quand quelqu’un nous fait du mal, notre premier réflexe c’est d’imaginer le mal qu’on pourrait lui faire en retour ? D’où vient ce désir qui semble à la fois si juste alors même que ... Show More
43m 19s
Sep 2019
001 | Welcome To Stories Of The Soul
This podcast was started because Najwa wants to connect with each and every one of us on a different level. To speak to us directly and share stories that will open our eyes to the world around us and let us know that we are not alone. The theme for the first season of this podca ... Show More
21m 35s
Sep 2023
48. Breaking Free: How Living with Integrity Can Transform Your Life & Your Recovery
Interested in getting 1:1 coaching support? Learn about my Coaching Program and book a free discovery call: https://www.jeremylipkowitz.com/intro GET NOTIFIED WHEN DOORS OPEN TO UNHOOKED RECOVERY: https://jeremylipkowitz.mykajabi.com/unhooked Connect on Social: Instagram: https:/ ... Show More
13m 59s