Part Two: 40 Lessons Learned at 40

I turn 40 today and for some birthday reflection this is part two of the "Decade of Reflection: 40 lessons learned at 40" blog post series. 😉

Part one is here.

Part two is below.

(If you prefer the “extended” version that’s more in depth, check out the podcast below)

21. You can never get it “wrong” because you can never get it done. You’ll always be eating, growing, learning, and evolving, so there is no wrong way to do it—only lessons to be learned. ♥️

22. You are enough. Always.

23. You are enough even if you’ve gained weight, can’t lose the baby weight, eat emotionally or ____________ (fill in the blank with whatever you think you need to change to be enough. And see #2 ♥️ )

24. Release the “should’s”. They get in the way of those whispers deep within.

25. Feeling in "control" around food isn't learned through more rules, willpower or discipline. It's learned in baby steps, as we learn to trust ourselves our food. When you trust fully, you feel in control. (I know, the paradox!)

26. You are allowed to say no (*still working on this one!!)

27. This journey requires immense courage, as it is the path less traveled. Dieting is the "easy" solution to a very complex issue. But the payoff to this lesser traveled path? Deep, lasting change (and a never having to rely on a diet program again!)

28. The biggest paradox on this path is that we don’t change and THEN accept. We accept and then we change.

29. Life keeps giving us the same lessons until we learn what we need to learn from them.

30. The only way out of it is through it (an emotion, a challenging time, a hard conversation, etc)

31. Expressing emotions can feel vulnerable, terrifying, liberating and chaotic all at once. But learning to express them is a huge part of learning to let go of coping with feelings by using food.

Want my 3 best resources to end emotional eating? Click here for all the goodies

32. Our fixation on weight/food/body is always a mask for something deeper. Our food "issue" is black and white--we know how to fix our problem (diet, lose weight, etc). But the bigger issues (eating when we're stressed because we're so busy, feeling overwhelmed with what's on our plate, relationship not working out, a terrible career, etc) are harder, so we distract ourselves with a fixation on controlling food, losing weight, etc.

33. There is no one right way to eat (or to live). The "right" way is what works for YOU.

34. We don’t have a happy ending to an unhappy journey. We don’t hate our bodies every step of the way, get to the “end” and magically love ourselves (even though this is what we learn in the diet world!)

35. We listen too much to our minds and not enough to our hearts: if that incessant critical voice of "should" in your head quieted down...what would you eat? How would you live?

36. We're taught to run from pain and seek pleasure at all costs. But some of the greatest shifts happen when we stop, pause, and face the thing we've been desperately running from.

37. Doubt means don't. If you feel doubt, pause, breathe and see where you're being guided instead.

38. Our busy-ness can be a distraction from....ourselves. We can be terrified to be alone with our thoughts and feelings so we distract (food, phone, etc). But the courage to be alone in silence is one of the greatest gifts you will ever give to yourself.

39. We are all secretly afraid we are not enough; this is the human condition. We're all feel imposter syndrome, we all worry what people think about us (or our weight, our parenting, our clothes, etc) (But see #2 and 3!)

40. Happiness isn't something we "reach" or "get". It's something that happens in the little moments, day in and day out