Why do other people’s opinions about you matter so much to you? Or, well, to us? (Because you’re not the only one.) Why do we need to define our self-image through others people’s eyes? Someone says you have a big nose, and suddenly, “I have a big nose.” Someone calls you stupid, and suddenly, “I’m stupid.”
You’ve lived with yourself your entire life. Shouldn’t you know who you are? Why do you let others define you?
This stops, today.
In this episode, you will learn the three science-backed reasons why other people’s opinions about you seem to matter so much. And you will get three tools to disarm these opinionated weapons people toss at you. (Don’t worry, NONE of these tools say, “Just stop caring about what others say.”)
Have you ever heard that Aristotle quote, “To avoid criticism, say nothing, do nothing, be nothing.”
You can do that. It will keep you safe. Maybe. But, if you do, I’ll give you the for-sure part right now …
If you don’t know who you are - here are two guarantees:
1. Someone’s gonna tell ya.
And,
2. That won’t be who you are or what you want to be.
IN EPISODE 22 YOU WILL LEARN:
• The 3 science-backed reasons why you put so much value into what other people say.• The 3 ways to change that.• Why you should NOT develop a thick skin - and what to do to protect yourself instead.• The difference between self-esteem and self-worth - which will change your entire perception of your value.• How to understand your cognitive distortions (faulty wiring).• At least a couple of embarrassing stories about me - or as I prefer to call them, embraceable stories - because I go through this too. • You are not the only one. (This is something you learn every episode.)
And if you feel like you don’t fit in, remember this: Maybe that’s because you’re not meant to fit in. You’re meant to stand out!
Look, when conformity is the cure for social anxiety - conformity is also the cause of it. Don’t let it trap you in its web - or World Wide Web, as it were.
P.S. If you missed my two-part conversation with Dr. Gabor Maté - the world’s leading expert in trauma and addictions - that is definitely required listening. But only if you want to live a better life. Millions and millions of people have now watched the video snippets from that chat. You can find those on TikTok and Instagram - with more to come!
Also, please leave a review on Apple or Spotify - or wherever you listen to this. Really, it just makes it easier for other people to find this podcast - which is truly growing into a supportive community so much faster than I imagined.
DAHLIA is powered by you. There’s no media machine funding this. To support these podcasts, posts, and videos, please choose a paid subscription. Or you can just keep offering that support to big media corporations. Either or!
Dahlia delivers compelling messages and incites positive intrapersonal shifts – in leadership, inspiration, and activism. Her mission is to help you shine brightly and use your light to help others shine as well.