logo
episode-header-image
Sep 2022
1h 3m

Messiness Is Not a Moral Failing | KC Da...

10% Happier
About this episode

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.

---


Today we're talking about an often overlooked source of suffering— housework. There are so many ways in which housework can be a bummer. Maybe we're feeling guilty about the fact that our place is always a mess. Maybe we're driving ourselves crazy with obsessive cleaning. Maybe we have relatives who are overly critical about the state of affairs in our home. Maybe gender politics with our spouses and partners is a source of strife. 


Our guest today, KC Davis, helps deconstruct these often rigid and daunting cultural norms that surround the concept of domestic bliss. As a self-styled anti-perfectionist, Davis has garnered a huge audience on TikTok with more than 1 million followers. She has also written the book, How to Keep House While Drowning: A Gentle Approach to Cleaning and Organizing. On today's show, she offers a ton of practical tips that are rooted in self compassion and the dogged determination not to use shame as a motivator when it comes to our domestic lives. 


In this episode we talk about: 


  • One of KC's slogans,"You don't exist to serve your space, your space exists to serve you" 
  • The difference between what's "normal" and what's "functional". For example, why that pile of laundry on the floor is just fine if it works for you
  • Why it's important to think of house work as morally neutral. For example, why doing dishes has nothing to do with you being a good or bad person
  • Why she doesn't believe laziness exists
  • The power of what she calls "category cleaning" 
  • Breaking the clean/not clean binary
  • And achieving equitable division of labor around the house 



Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/kc-davis-501

Up next
Nov 24
A Radical Buddhist Antidote for Anxiety | John Makransky and Paul Condon
<p dir="ltr">Combining modern science and ancient Buddhism to treat anxiety, anger, and impatience.</p> <p dir="ltr"><a href= "https://www.bc.edu/bc-web/schools/morrissey/departments/theology/people/retired-faculty/john-makransky.html"> John Makransky</a> is a professor of Buddhi ... Show More
53m 45s
Nov 23
Why Work Feels So Hard — And What to Do About It
<p dir="ltr">We're bringing you an episode of one of our favorite podcasts, <a href= "https://www.pushkin.fm/podcasts/the-happiness-lab-with-dr-laurie-santos"> The Happiness Lab with Dr. Laurie Santos</a>, on which Dan was a guest.<br /> <br /> We can spend a lot of time working ... Show More
1h 2m
Nov 21
The Dharma of Anxiety and Depression | Leslie Booker
<p dir="ltr">Anxiety. Depression. Perfectionism. Dan and meditation teacher Leslie Booker get real about how these challenges show up in their own lives — and how mindfulness, community, and sometimes medication can actually help. Recorded live at New York Insight, this conversat ... Show More
31m 12s
Recommended Episodes
Jul 2023
How to keep house while drowning (w/ KC Davis)
<p>Let’s face it: if chores were fun, they probably wouldn’t be called that. Because for most people, life can be overwhelming – and that means it doesn’t always look like a cleaning commercial where everyone is dancing their way to do laundry, take out trash, or smiling while wa ... Show More
34m 51s
Apr 2023
How to keep house while drowning (w/ KC Davis)
<p>Let’s face it: if chores were fun, they probably wouldn’t be called that. Because for most people, life can be overwhelming – and that means it doesn’t always look like a cleaning commercial where everyone is dancing their way to do laundry, take out trash, or smiling while wa ... Show More
34m 25s
Sep 2023
11 Crazy Facts About Laundry, Showering, & Getting the “Little Stuff” Done That Will Make You Laugh (and Prove You’re Doing Better Than You Think)
<p>In today’s episode, best-selling author and therapist KC Davis answers the question, "How can you be successful in many areas of your life but fall short on getting the laundry, dishes, or grocery shopping done?"</p><p> </p><p>Which begs the question: why are all the "little t ... Show More
1h 2m
Nov 2023
Is There Such a Thing as the Organized Brain?
If you’re feeling anxious or overwhelmed, taking out the trash or doing laundry is normally the last thing on your mind. Therapist KC Davis says that’s by design. Sometimes, brains are too focused on survival mode to complete even the simplest of tasks. So how can we beat this me ... Show More
34 m
Jan 2023
A Breakdown of How To Keep House While Drowning | Clutterbug Podcast # 156
<p>If you are tired of the constant cycle of cleaning and tidying your home, just for it to get messy again overnight...you are not alone. Housework can seem like a never-ending, horrible burden. Maybe you are struggling to stay on top and have lost the motivation to keep trying. ... Show More
24m 37s
Sep 2018
TMHS 309: How To Deal With Failure, Cultivating Work Ethic, & Why It’s Time To Man Up - With Guest Bedros Keuilian
The greatest obstacle you’ll ever meet is not some arbitrary external factor. More often than not, we are held back by thoughts and beliefs that are within us. We all live with self-sabotaging tendencies, limiting beliefs, and the affinity to play small rather than embracing the ... Show More
1h 20m
Sep 2023
The Best Advice I Ever Heard: From Motivation to Paper Plates, 10 Genius Hacks for Keeping Yourself and Your Home Organized
<p>In today’s episode, I welcome back KC Davis, therapist, and bestselling author.</p><p> </p><p>The episode before this featured her relatable, hilarious, and breakthrough ideas about everything from laundry to loading a dishwasher and giving yourself the freaking break that you ... Show More
51m 54s
Sep 2023
AP 525: How to Make Cleaning Easier: My Practical System for Better Managing your Home, No Perfection Required
I have had my fair share of personal struggles with feeling inadequate in the face of unrealistic cleaning standards and the never-ending list of household chores. And while I know that a clean and organized environment impacts our well-being I also know that it doesn't have to b ... Show More
38m 15s
Aug 2023
Where Your Trash and Recycling Really Goes & A Fun and Effective Approach to Housework
More and more people are opting to remove their shoes before they come into the house and asking guests to do it as well. Is it really necessary? Does it do any good? This episode begins with a look at what your shoes actually track into your home and whether or not it is dangero ... Show More
48m 5s
Jul 2022
Kerri Kelly | The Myth of Wellness & How We Truly Heal
<p>We’ve all heard the call to self-care, some have even heeded it. But what if, beyond the core concept of taking care of your physical, emotional, and spiritual self, there was a deeper engine of discord and exclusion at play? Wellbeing is, no doubt, key to living a good life, ... Show More
1h 2m