logo
episode-header-image
Apr 2020
25m 5s

175 SelfWork: How To Avoid Self-Sabotage...

MARGARET ROBINSON RUTHERFORD PHD
About this episode

Do you sabotage relationships that have potential? Are you risk averse? Do you commit too quickly or are you passively going along with the relationship continuing? Today we're talking about several ways you can sabotage a relationship's potential or you can end in a relationship that's simply not healthy. As this podcast is being recorded when so many of us are staying home with family, we’re enjoying the strengths of the relationships we’ve built – but also perhaps bearing up under the brunt of ones that aren’t what we’d hoped they would be. Or you're home alone, wondering why certain relationships "never worked."

The listener email today is one that is very timely – and we’re going to spend a good bit of time on it -- what you’re seeing in your relationships on lockdown. It's from one woman who isn’t able to escape how there’s no sense of partnership or even enjoyment of being together.. and she's therefore lonelier than ever. She wrote me back after this episode was recorded and told me that the podcast on apathy was actually very helpful to her.

Important Links:

Episode 069 on the victim/savior relationship.

Raquel Peel's TED Talk on anticipating failure in relationships

My own podcast on combatting apathy in relationships

You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive one weekly newsletter including my weekly blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!

My new book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression has arrived and you can order here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.

And there’s a new way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Up next
Jul 4
453 SelfWork: A Shrink Talks About Shrinking
I'm a shrink. And today, I want to talk about the hit show Shrinking.Most of the time, I hear the term "shrink" used in a funny, almost endearing way. It’s like when people call me “Doc” instead of my name. It’s a term that binds us but also keeps boundaries clear.I’d like to giv ... Show More
21m 11s
Jun 27
Parenting: Letting Go of Your Grown Kids
Parenting is hard. It may be the most ambiguous job you’ll ever have. Not only do you have to wait literally years to see what the “finished product” truly is – you have to get through adolescence and social media influence and screen time and drug use and hurt from relationships ... Show More
21m 11s
Jun 20
451 SelfWork: Why and How to Stop Using Therapy-Misspeak
Therapy-misspeak – overusing the terms used by psychologists and doctors and therapists – has blown up in recent years. Words that are used in the mental health world to diagnose or describe certain mental illnesses or traits of mental illnesses have become part of everyday langu ... Show More
23m 1s
Recommended Episodes
Oct 2023
27: Wounded Feminine Energy: A Guide To Breaking the Cycle of Self-Sabotage in Relationships
Episode Starts @ 9:27 ˗ˋˏ ♡ ˎˊ˗ Bestie it's time to manifest the most important relationship you will ever have: the one with yourself. I didn't answer this question during Q&A in the episode, but my self-discovery journey began 13 years ago. It involved so much trial and error, ... Show More
37m 49s
Oct 2023
How To Heal Dating & Relationship Anxiety So You Can Trust Yourself + Say THIS When You Feel Anxious
Learn how to heal dating and relationship anxiety so you can trust yourself and your intuition in this episode with Valerie Greene. Valerie also shared how to talk to your partner when you're feeling anxious in a way that will bring them CLOSER and inspire them to meet your needs ... Show More
57m 13s
Apr 2023
How To Overcome Abandonment In Relationships
How to Overcome Abandonment Issues In Relationships If you're feeling alone and abandoned in your relationships, then today's video is for you. I'll discuss some of the common reasons why people experience abandonment, and I'll provide tips on how to overcome thes ... Show More
19m 47s
Sep 2023
How to Heal Resentment In Relationships
Relationships take compromise, but are you compromising who you are -- the man or women you truly want to be for your relationship. That's a recipe for resentment and if you don't deal with that resentment before it bubbles over, your relationship could be in real trouble. On thi ... Show More
7m 42s
Oct 2023
202 | 3 Reasons Why Breaking Free From Being "Nice" Will Explode Your Self Love & Self Confidence: Spirituality & Psychology Infused Tips to Start Being Your Most Authentic Self, Healing People Pleasi
Love, today's episode is a fiery one.  I'm currently going through my yoga teacher training program & a piece of this is reading The Yamas & Niyamas by Deborah Adele.  I'm obsessed.  There's a whole section on why being "nice" does not serve us, our relationships, ... Show More
24m 34s
Jul 2023
33. WHATADO: Spicing Up Your Relationship, Being the Single Friend, and Texting the Ex HBD
WHATADOS are back, and though Jess and Caroline are physically falling apart and can't agree about hair removal strategies, their non-advice to the kooks is ready to rage. First up, keeping the fire alive in a long-term relationship - including asking for what you want (both ... Show More
1 h
Jun 2022
Take a Self-Compassion Break
There's no denying it - the last handful of years have been very challenging. Aside from the personal adversity we've all felt in our individual lives, we've faced incredible collective adversity. The pandemic. Political divide. Crime and mass shootings. It has all be ... Show More
43m 34s
Apr 2023
EP331: Unlocking Love: Attachment Styles, Sexuality, and Conquering Abandonment Fears
Welcome to episode 331 of Sexology Podcast! Today I am delighted to be speaking with Dr. Morgan. In this episode, we discuss attachment theory, the way different attachment styles affect sexual dynamics and ways in which you can communicate your insecurities.  Meet the relationsh ... Show More
31m 55s