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Aug 2020
22m 54s

SDH 400: What to Do When Nothing Is Work...

Amanda Boleyn
About this episode

I know one thing that is for sure is that building a business can be down right hard, not just from the tactical strategy side of it but also the emotional side of it. Working with my clients and having gone through the beginning stages of the entrepreneurial journey myself, let me tell you. It is messy. Things feel broken all the time, constantly watching “how-to” tutorials and you feel like you’re hanging on by a thread. If anyone tells you that their entrepreneurial journey to their multi-six, multi-seven figure business was peachy, they are lying. 

Building a business can be some of the most intense personal development training you will ever experience, if you let it. 

You learn to..

  • detach yourself from the outcomes and to take care of the daily small things. Because taking care of the small things, takes care of the big things.
  • you learn (although it can take some time) that comparing your journey and thinking you should be somewhere else or further along than you are, only stunts you from actually moving forward. You can’t live in the present when you’re focus on somewhere else you should be.
  • Unlearn being conditional. For example, instead of saying “I’ll only be happy when I get X amount of students to enroll in my program or make X amount money, then I’ll be happy” and instead learn that it is actually the way around. That by being happy in the here and now, you attract your desires. 

Learning online business, building an engaged community filled with folks who want to buy from you, not being afraid of what people say about you, all takes time. It takes patience. 

So when you’re building your business, you’re in the thick of it, clients aren’t signing up, you feel like no one is engaging or showing up, and you’re brain is freaking the F out, here is a list of things you can in that moment to put yourself back in the driver seat. 

  1. Stop resisting. Resistance can be physical and energical. Suffering is caused by resisting. Thinking that an experience in our life shouldn’t be happening. That creates resistance and resistance is heavy. Imagine if life’s experiences was a river and all of sudden you thought that the river should flow the way it is, you build a dam and put up resistance. You stop the flow. It doesn’t mean what you’re experience is going to be easy but by resistencing it, you’re causing more suffering. 
  2. Stop trying to control. Depending on you personality type, when things go sideways, some of us like to try and control everything around us and I can speak from experience. The growth opportunity in that moment is actually learning that you can’t control everything and the only thing you can control is yourself and how you respond. 
  3. Obstacles as opportunities. This is about changing your perspective. Sometimes when we view things as “No working,” it leaves us feeling defeated, where as when we look at every challenge, problem, obstacle as opportunities we’re able to shift the way we look at it. As the late Wayne Dyer said, “When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”
  4. Where your focus goes, energy flows results will show. Chances are that what you’re focused on isn’t making you feel to good. When you’re focused on what’s not working, you can only think about what isn’t working. Redirect your focus on to what IS working.
  5. You can do this by creating a “gratitude list.” Make a list of what IS working. We often think about what we’re doing in our business and what “isn’t working” even though we’ve recently just proved that it is by getting a sale. We dismiss that sale because it isn’t what we wanted. We expected 5 sales and only got one. You have to practice being grateful for the 78 Instagram followers before you’ll ever get thousands. You can’t desire from a place of abundance while at the same time criticizing the present moment. 
  6. Change your state. Your state determines your story that creates a story. If you’re feeling insecure, frustrated or upset and try to solve a problem from that state, you’re in trouble. When you’re feeling low, frustrated, overwhelmed, change your physical state. Go for a walk, run, workout, sweat, dance it out. Know your go to. I know that Mondays after amazing weekends I can feel a little bluesy...the best way to overcome that feeling is putting in my airpods, putting on my tennis shoes and turning on my music and going for a 2 miles run.
  7. Understand what your primary question may be. For example, if you find yourself to be a “fixer” and want to fix everything, which I’ve certainly have been there. I dated guys who I wanted to fix, I created caohs in my personal live so I could have something to fix and this manifested in my business. I realized that my primary question was always asking “What’s wrong and how do I fix this?” Always. I always assumed something was wrong in my business. And if I always assume that something is wrong, then I’m going to want to fix it. 
  8. Practice patience. In a world where everything is focused on immediate gratification, it is quite the opposite when it comes to building a business. You can’t make future decisions based on current circumstances. Because if you do something in your business that you label “didn’t work” just from one experience, you’re going to want to change the direction of where you’re going. Thus never gaining traction.

Stop resisting, release control, turn obstacles into opportunities, shift your focus, create a gratitude list and change your physical state. 

Because truly, when it feels like nothing is working, everything is working...just not the way we want it to. 

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