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Oct 2020
20m 2s

Devoted but Doomed

The New York Times
About this episode

In college, Malcolm Conner penned a rambling email intended for his crush. “You have cow eyes,” he wrote. “I know that sounds like a bad thing but have you ever looked into a cow’s eyes? They are so deep and brown and beautiful.”

What he hadn’t disclosed — to his crush or to anyone at school — was that he was transgender and had transitioned at age 15. But he knew he had to tell this “charismatic acquaintance,” for what they had was flirtatious and unstoppable; it was, as Malcolm put it, physics.

As it turned out, his crush had something to share too. They dated anyway — quietly, both knowing that each day of sweetness together was drawing them closer toward the last.

Featured stories:

  • “The Physics of Forbidden Love," Malcolm Conner
  • “Strangers on a Train," Cecilia Pesao


Malcolm’s story was recorded by Audm. To hear more audio stories from publishers like The New York Times, download Audm for iPhone or Android.

You can find more information on today's episode here.

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