BUILD YOUR CASTLE. Love at first sight is bullshit. A relationship is like a castle. You find a plot of land that has a lot of potential. Then, bit by bit, you build the castle. But it takes work from both of you. One person can’t be laying the bricks while the other is home watching TV. After lots of hard work, you’ll have something unique and ornate that belongs to you. You’ll have a castle. That’s love. On today’s episode of The School of Greatness, I talk about the key to lasting relationships with an international guru of the dating and relationship-coaching scene: Matthew Hussey. Matthew Hussey is a speaker, New York Times Bestselling author, columnist for Cosmopolitan Magazine, and dating expert on ABC’s digital series What To Text Him Back. His corporate clients include Hugo Boss, The Perfume Shop, Virgin Gyms, Procter & Gamble, Bare Escentuals, U.S. legal giant Weil Gotshal & Manges, and global management consultants Accenture. 50,000 women have attended his live events and he has reached over 10 million online. Matthew says that the “activation energy” for starting relationships is lower than ever. This causes ghosting. People are less invested in relationships. But there are ways you can meet people indirectly.
So get ready to learn the three things you need to build a great relationship on Episode 811.
Some Questions I Ask:
Do people even want to have a committed, long term relationship? (19:00)
Is a great relationship when you stop thinking about your needs and not expecting anything in return? (21:30)
How do we step outside of the emotional feelings in a relationship? (25:00)
When do you know you’re ready for a committed, intimate relationship? (47:00)
What are the three things you need to have to sustain a relationship? (52:00)
In This Episode You Will Learn:
About “activation energy” and why things like Tinder make it low (10:00)
Why space is important in order to not react emotionally (30:00)
About the “castle” metaphor and why you need to build together (38:00)
Why the “trash cans” define your relationship more than the highlights (45:00)
The four stages of all relationships (1:02:30)
The first step you can do to get out of the weeds of singlehood (1:11:30)
If you enjoyed this episode, check out the video, show notes, and more at www.lewishowes.com/811 and follow at instagram.com/lewishowes