We return to survey the barren landscape of football, where yet again James Milner steps up to provide for all in a time of need, this time with a comprehensive physical pun XI. Get that man a statue, outside every ground in the country.
We’re also intrigued by Royston Drenthe’s latest post-football career move, Steven Gerrard’s intense in-flight behaviour and some frankly startling revelations from Marcus’ time as a particularly niche door-to-door salesman. You will be surprised and amazed.
Features live jingles from the mind, hands and instrument of Pete Donaldson.
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Further reading:
Royston Drenthe: Actor:
Can Odion Ighalo secure his dream move to Man United?
James Milner’s isolation pun XI:
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