Dave asked for a family update, and Adam finally had the one he wasn't sure he'd get to give. Baby Mary has handled every step down on her oxygen, and after a conference room full of her doctors went through her case one specialty at a time, the plan is to bring her home, likely by the end of October. She'll keep growing there on low-flow oxygen until her open-heart surgery this winter. After a year when the hard way became the normal way, the kids have finally met their sister. Adam wants everyone who's been praying to hear his thanks. Keep praying for Mary. Praise God.
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Dave had a milestone too. Four years after setting the goal, he slaughtered a full-grown pig by himself and scraped it until his forearms cramped and the scraper fell out of his hand. He ate some pickles and persevered. The next day his oldest girls wrapped and labeled roasts in butcher paper like seasoned farm kids. Another night the family prayed the Rosary around the fire pit, one of the kids leading from up in a tree. That led to the car Rosary, which is every morning for Adam's family right now. No shade on it, but there's a hierarchy of goods.
In the glass: Friendly Territory, a Scotch Malt Whisky Society bottling of 13-year-old Dailuaine finished in first-fill European oak PX butts. Dark cherry on the nose, velvet on the palate. Given that the topic was admonishing the sinner, the name fits.
Adam came at fraternal correction from running a company. A manager who won't correct an employee isn't being kind. He's being unfair, because the man never gets the chance to improve. Dave put it in religious terms: if charity is willing the good of the other, keeping quiet while your brother eats poison isn't charity.
Dave brought the Catechism and the old list of nine ways to share in another man's sin, silence among them. Then St. Thomas, for whom correction is an affirmative precept: it always binds, but not on every occasion. You need a reasonable hope it'll help, certainty about the sin, and a method that won't cause a bigger scandal. Adam admitted he could hide behind that first condition: I'm only 45% sure this goes well, so I'm off the hook. Dave's answer: it's a reasonable hope, not reasonable knowledge. Cowardice doesn't get a vote.
The podcast tail earns its length. Adam lays out a method he took from a pagan, Cicero, that sounds a lot like the critique sandwich, and somebody gets admonished on air for saying "rhetoric device." Then Adam hands Dave two hard cases: friends who fight the same sin, and a dad who comes back to the Faith with teenagers at home. Dave's answer to the first is the line of the night. Sin doesn't equal hypocrisy. His answer to the second starts with an apology to the kids.
Pray before you say a word. Ask your guardian angel to talk to his. Then go, because friends don't let friends sin.
Raise your glass.
TOPICS COVERED
- Why neither host can do an accent, and the Oklahoma drawl that New Yorkers hear as Georgia
- Recording a 20-minute ad, which is short for TCMS
- A Catholic marketplace full of prayer products, and what that says about demand for a better prayer life
- Adam's update on baby Mary: a care conference, tapering oxygen, and plans to bring her home before heart surgery
- How easy it would be to fall into anxiety without community and a prayer life
- Dave's first solo hog slaughter, forearm cramps, and persevering with pickles
- Farm kids who know how to wrap a roast in butcher paper
- A family Rosary by the fire pit, led from a tree
- October as the month of the Rosary, and the car Rosary in a hierarchy of goods
- SMWS Friendly Territory, and why it's scotch season 14 months a year
- Why managers who won't correct employees are being unfair to them
- Charity as willing the good of the other, and why it obliges us to speak
- Fraternal correction as a matter of both charity and justice, and the sin of omission for fathers who don't correct
- Admonishing the sinner on the traditional list of spiritual works of mercy
- St. Thomas on why spiritual works of mercy are nobler than corporal ones
- How silence about a brother's sin turns into gossip and backbiting
- The Catechism on cooperating in the sins of others
- The nine ways of being an accessory to another's sin
- Affirmative versus negative precepts
- The conditions that oblige you to correct: reasonable hope of amendment, certainty of the sin, and a method that doesn't cause greater scandal
- Using "reasonable hope" as a shield for cowardice
- Whether you're the right person to say it, or whether it should come from a parent or a friend
- Christ's method in Matthew 18: privately, then with witnesses, then to the Church
- Preserving your brother's good name
- Public sins and public rebuke in Aquinas, and why it takes the right person
- Excommunication as medicine, not punishment for its own sake
- Becoming a "spiritual Karen," and the beam in your own eye
- Hyperfixating on one virtue and the disorder it creates
- Cicero's method and the critique sandwich
- Can you correct a friend who struggles with the same sin you do?
- A father who comes back to the Faith with teenagers, and why he starts with an apology
- Patience and good counsel when a man's wife isn't on board yet
- Why admonishing works best in true friendship
- Asking your guardian angel to talk to the other man's guardian angel first
REFERENCED IN THIS EPISODE
St. Thomas Aquinas:
- Summa Theologiae II-II, Q. 33, "Of Fraternal Correction", including a. 2 (correction as a matter of precept), a. 6 (forbearing when correction would make the sinner worse), and a. 7 (public sins reproved publicly, citing 1 Timothy 5:20)
- Summa Theologiae II-II, Q. 32, a. 3, on spiritual almsdeeds being better than corporal ones because the soul is nobler than the body
- Charity as willing the good of another (see Catechism 1766, citing ST I-II, Q. 26, a. 4)
The Catechism and tradition:
- Catechism of the Catholic Church 1868, on our responsibility for the sins of others when we cooperate in them
- Catechism 2447, on the spiritual works of mercy
- The traditional seven spiritual works of mercy, which put "admonish the sinner" first
- The nine ways of being an accessory to another's sin: by counsel, by command, by consent, by provocation, by praise or flattery, by concealment, by partaking, by silence, and by defense of the ill done
- Excommunication and the Church's medicinal penalties
Scripture:
- Matthew 18:15-17, correcting a brother privately, then with witnesses, then before the Church
- Matthew 7:3-5, the beam and the splinter
- Ephesians 4:26, "Be angry, but do not sin" (the "very vague Bible reference" on air)
- Matthew 13:5-6, 20-21, the seed on rocky ground
- Revelation 21:27, nothing unclean shall enter heaven
Saints and other voices:
- St. John Chrysostom, paraphrased on air on the silent friend being worse than an enemy
- Cicero, the source Adam credits for his method of delivering hard news
- Brandon Sheard of Farmstead Meatsmith
In the glass:
- The Scotch Malt Whisky Society, Friendly Territory, a 13-year-old Dailuaine (Speyside), ex-bourbon hogsheads, finished in first-fill European oak PX butts
Community:
- The men at the TCMS Camp Out who've been praying for Mary
- Jim, absent and admonished anyway
- Last week's guardian angels episode
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