This is the free shorter version of a premium episode. Become a paid subscriber to The Unspeakeasy on Substack to access the full version.
👉 https://www.theunspeakablepodcast.com
Meghan's guest this time is author, essayist, and friend of the pod Sarah Hepola, who returns to celebrate her long-awaited memoir, The Only Thing There is to Want. Having survived early drafts, financial close-calls, and late-night meltdowns together, Meghan was eager to sit down with Sarah to trace the book's arduous six-year journey to publication and explore its honest take on romantic solitude.
Together, they chart the cultural shift from Gen X dating norms to today's hyper-connected, yet deeply lonely, mating landscape. From the "ambiguous loss" of childlessness to the surprisingly sweet dynamics of older women dating younger men, this episode explores what happens when post-feminist independence meets the messy, unpredictable urge for partnership in midlife.
This conversation covers:
The Craft and Chaos of Memoir: How Sarah navigated a six-year writing ordeal, DoorDash rejections, and major draft overhauls to capture the delicate anatomy of three defining relationships.
Modern Fertility and the "Ambiguous Loss" of Singledom: A frank look at shifting marriage statistics, biological clocks, and how media myths surrounding late-in-life motherhood led a generation astray on IVF.
Hypersexualization, Internet Brain, and New Mating Rules: Why modern dating apps, online gender wars, and changing standards around intimacy have turned modern courtship into a confusing battlefield for both men and women.
Want to support the show and join our off-the-record community hangouts? Become a paid subscriber to The Unspeakeasy on Substack.
👉 https://www.theunspeakablepodcast.com
Sarah Hepola is an essayist, journalist, podcaster, and New York Times best-selling author. She wrote the acclaimed memoir Blackout: Remembering the Things I Drank to Forget as well as The Only Thing There is to Want. Her writing on culture, addiction, relationships, and modern womanhood has appeared in The Atlantic, The New York Times, Salon, Texas Monthly, and Slate.
Sarah Hepola's Book: The Only Thing There is to Want
Sarah Hepola's Website:
Sarah Hepola's Instagram:
Join The Club: Become a paid subscriber to The Unspeakeasy on Substack to unlock monthly hangouts for Founding Members.
Unspeakeasy Retreats: Off-the-record, curated conversations in beautiful settings. Registration for this fall's Small Gathering for Big Ideas in New York's Hudson Valley is now open.
Meghan's Writing Workshops: Featuring a coed summer Zoom course and a 3-night women's writing retreat in upstate NY this fall. Is one right for you?
The Audiobook: Meghan's most recent book, The Catastrophe Hour, is out now. It's narrated by Meghan herself, in case you still haven't heard enough of her voice.