“Everybody you interact with needs that signal of respect.”

Feeling seen and respected can shape how we communicate and connect with others. For Stanford social psychologist and author of Churn: The Tension That Divides Us and How to Overcome, Claude Steele, understanding stereotype threat and “churn,” the tension that arises when we worry about being judged based on our identity, can help us build greater trust across differences. In this episode of Think Fast, Talk Smart, Steele joins Matt Abrahams to discuss how stereotypes influence our interactions and how to reduce their impact. From giving feedback that communicates respect to building trust, Steele shares how seeing people’s full humanity and potential can strengthen our connections.

Takeaways:

Trust grows when people feel seen and respected. Recognizing someone’s abilities, potential, and individuality can reduce uncertainty and help build stronger relationships across differences.
Feedback works better when respect is explicit. Pairing high standards with a clear belief in someone’s ability to meet them can make critical feedback feel more trustworthy and motivating.

Activity:

Add a signal of respect. Think of someone you need to give constructive feedback to. Before delivering the critique, add one sentence that communicates both your standards and your confidence in their ability to meet them. Notice whether this changes how the feedback is received.

Episode Reference Links:

Claude Steele
Claude’s Book: Churn
Ep.40 Mindset Matters: How to Embrace the Benefits of Stress

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Matt Abrahams >>> LinkedIn

Chapters:

(00:00) - Introduction
(00:57) - What is Stereotype Threat?
(02:39) - Social Media and Stereotypes
(03:44) - Reducing Stereotype Threat
(07:18) - Building Personal Connections
(08:13) - Understanding Churn
(09:46) - Building Trust Through Feedback
(13:54) - The Final Three Questions
(19:10) - Conclusion

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