Ever shared something vulnerable and immediately wished you could take it back? That sinking feeling has a name: the vulnerability hangover. Harvard Business School professor and behavioral scientist Dr. Leslie John joins Danielle to unpack the surprising science of self-disclosure, why we often regret what we don't say more than what we do, and how revealing a little more, at work, in dating, and in friendship, can actually deepen trust, strengthen relationships, and change the way we connect. In this episode Dr. John shares:
- Why we regret what we hide more than what we reveal
- The science behind trust and human connection
- How to know if you're oversharing—or simply being honest
- Why vulnerability feels so uncomfortable
- The psychology of revealing secrets
- How social media has changed the way we share our lives
- The difference between authentic vulnerability and performative sharing
- Why revealing a little more can improve your relationships
- The "Goldilocks Principle" of self-disclosure
- How to have difficult conversations without saying too much
- What to share on first dates (and what to save for later)
- How vulnerability can make you a better leader at work
- Why you should only list a few personality traits on your dating profile.
- Why reciprocity is the key to building deeper friendships
- Practical advice for overcoming the fear of opening up
- How to tell if someone is revealing to connect, or revealing to perform.
- Why relationships should be built "like a fire," slowly, one reveal at a time.
- The biggest first-date red flag: skipping straight to trauma dumping.
Dr. John’s Book Recommendations: Difficult Conversations and Unreasonable Hospitality
Grab a copy of Dr. John’s book, Revealing: The Underrated Power of Oversharing, here.
Follow Dr. John on Instagram.
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