Dave's summer vacation got cut from three months down to two, and Adam has a theory. New baby, plus he hasn't been working near as hard. Dave tried to get a second opinion from Anthony Fauci, who invoked the Fifth on advice of counsel, so we're left with the ruling as it stands. Either way, the new van is getting loaded and the Niles family is headed to a cabin in Michigan for two weeks. Fifties at night, fires in the morning and the evening, which means chopping enough firewood to replace what you burn. Golf, swimming, and a little aluminum fishing boat that Davey gets to ride in. Joseph and Joshua stay on shore. Joseph has a big knot on his head at the moment anyway.
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On the drive back from Lady Pamela's family reunion in Arkansas, Dave counted three mopeds inside 45 minutes, which would be unremarkable in Portland and is deeply strange here. A moped gang remains unconfirmed but would be extremely cool. His reading time is going to Plato's Republic with the group at Deacon Harrison's house, book 10 now, while Adam has missed it all year and is on record that he'll haunt them if they kick him out.
Dave also saw the new Odyssey movie, alongside Dr. Frank Grabowski, Juan in a dog onesie as Argos, and Deacon Harrison Garlick, who announced in the group text beforehand: "I have filled my heart with hate." Verdict, 7.5 for entertainment. They shouldn't have tried to cram the whole epic into one film, they changed the ending, which you can't do, and they folded the lotus eaters into Calypso's island. That last one guts the most important choice in the story. Odysseus rejects immortality for his family. That's the whole thing.
The pour is Stranahan's Colorado Whiskey, the flagship, from a bottle the distiller sent the guys when the show started and that has sat on the shelf about ten years since. The label reads: Warning, contains high levels of manliness. No age statement, and no, ten years in your house doesn't count. Whiskey only ages in the barrel. Small batch, four barleys, virgin charred American white oak. Not bourbon, not 51% corn. Made in the style of Scotch, right here in America.
Then the topic: the five precepts of the Church, Catechism 2041, page 548 if you've got the classic 90s edition. This is the Church flexing authority, which she rarely does. Most of what she does is defensive. Papal infallibility is a negative power, not a positive one. The precepts are different. They bind, and they're the floor, not the ceiling.
Attend Mass on Sundays and holy days, and rest from servile labor. Everybody knows the first half. The second half is the one that stings, because going out to eat after Mass means you're compelling somebody else to work. Nurses show up, gas stations stay open, and nobody needs to be demolished by guilt over a trip to the store. Don't be a Pharisee about it. Do take it seriously.
Confess your sins at least once a year, meaning your mortal sins. Go monthly anyway, and do a daily examination of conscience, because you can't remember what you ate two days ago, much less where you lost your temper 28 days ago. Dave prays to Our Lady on the way in: help me make this confession as if it were my last. Adam leaves his phone outside, because it's listening, and that's not a conspiracy. And if you deliberately hold a mortal sin back, the confession is invalid and you've just added to the pile. Compound interest is powerful. Compound sin is worse.
Receive the Eucharist at least during the Easter season. Observe the days of fasting and abstinence, which used to be far heavier, and nothing is stopping you from going heavier now. Adam has never once enjoyed fasting. Dave eats nothing until dinner and swears he thinks more clearly for it. Both of them fast every Wednesday with a group of men and offer it up for their wives and their families. That's the domestic priesthood doing what it's for.
And help provide for the needs of the Church. Notice it doesn't say if you can afford it. Money is the easy part. Time is the sacrifice, especially in the seasons of fatherhood when there isn't any. Fr. Brian O'Brien's answer when somebody says the church really ought to do this: "I totally agree. You should do it." Your kids need to see you make some of your time sacred, not because nothing else was asking for it, but because you told everything else no.
It all lands on stewardship. You don't owe God 10%. You owe Him 100%. The house, the money, the hours, and most of all the kids were never yours, and He's going to want all of it back. Adam is honest about where that gets hard: leaving work drained, walking in the door, wanting to shut down instead of engage. The fix isn't willpower. It's routine. A liturgy of the home. Because those minutes belong to Him too, and at judgment there won't be a single moment that goes unjudged.
One housekeeping note. The Camp Out is always the last weekend of September, so put it on the calendar now. Sign-ups open at the end of August, late on purpose, because opening early means people sign up and don't come, and space is limited. Patrons still come free. This year the guys will be asking for donations on site, because Patreon numbers are down and 100% of what comes in goes straight back into the show. Neither of them takes an income from it.
Protect what you were given. Provide more than the minimum. Establish a house that looks like the King is coming back for it. Raise your glass.
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