Shownotes
How to transform difficult moments in a relationship into turning points
What distinguishes an abusive relationship from a partner with trauma
How reclaiming your sexuality can take your partnership to a new level
The four pillars that have helped Aubrey and Brian move through challenges
The one question to ask yourself when you feel triggered by your partner
What makes conflict the same as rebuilding your muscles at the gym
Bio
Brian Butts and Aubrey Slaver are relational and shadow alchemists devoted to the art of sacred partnership. Blending parts work, archetypal awareness, and practical communication tools, they have navigated religious deconstruction, addiction, separation, and infidelity and have come out on the other side loving each other more than they ever thought possible. They use radical honesty, safety, and conscious communication as the pillars of their growth.
They are currently launching a relationship podcast and developing a framework to help couples transform conflict into connection. With a shared mission to normalize raw, honest relating, they are devoted to helping couples deepen intimacy, decode their stories, create safety, and cultivate a more alive and fulfilling union.
You can follow Aubrey, Brian, and their shared work on Instagram.
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Timestamps
00:01:20 - Guest introduction
00:02:43 - Layla's advice for staying in a relationship that's incredibly hard
00:05:42 - Discover the VITA™ Sex, Love and Relationship Coaching Certification
00:10:52 - Aubrey and Brian talk about what shaped their early idea of marriage
00:14:28 - Brian shares his mother wound and how it created deep conflict
00:19:52 - A joyful relationship enhances your happiness, it doesn't create it
00:23:00 - The shift for Aubrey that helped her find a way out of constant conflict
00:27:46 - Layla explores what a narcissistic defense mechanism is
00:31:52 - How to transform difficult moments in a relationship into turning points
00:36:20 - Why separating allowed Aubrey and Brian to become themselves again
00:37:59 - [AD] MOOD Sex Magic - Podcast coupon code + 2 free sticks: [MOOD Sex Magic]
00:46:18 - Brian shares what made him want to do the work in the relationship
00:47:35 - What distinguishes an abusive relationship from a partner with trauma
00:50:52 - Aubrey shares what reclaiming her sexuality inside VITA Coaching gave to her
00:59:10 - The four pillars that have helped Aubrey and Brian move through challenges
01:04:00 - If you can't be honest with yourself, you can't work with your truth in partnership
01:07:44 - Aubrey and Brian share what made them choose to return to each other
01:13:08 - The one question to ask yourself when you feel triggered by your partner
01:18:23 - Aubrey shares her experience inside The VITA™ Coaching Certification
01:21:57 - What marriage means to Aubrey and Brian after all the work they've done
01:25:29 - Brian and Aubrey share what they're most grateful for in their relationship
01:29:37 - Conclusion