“This is going to turn into a big fun party,” Christi says as she and Kelly marvel at how many people are enthusiastically embracing Back to the Barre, rediscovering their hit show ‘Dance Moms,’ and telling the two how much they’ve enjoyed hearing from them all these years later. The party continues as they review Episode Three of “Dance Moms” over drinks. In this episode, Abby is teaching the girls an acrobatics routine, and it’s Vivi’s turn to receive special attention from Abby. Abby and Kelly’s long and complicated history starts to surface and Abby tells Kelly’s children Brooke and Paige to not waste their lives like their mother. Christi and Kelly drink every time Abby appears in another one of her infamous headbands.

Throughout the podcast, Kelly and Christi continue to set the record straight about long-standing fan questions and criticisms. They address why they didn’t schedule more privates, why they were late, the good reason for Brooke looking so miserable, and continue to critique each other’s old fashion moments. As reality show veterans now, they are able to put themselves in the minds of producers, and guess what random moments, like apple sauce exploding in a lunchbox, may have meant in terms of storyline (a foreshadowing of drama at Candy Apple Studios). This was the episode of Dance Moms where they all started to realize truly what they had signed up for.

On this episode of Back to the Barre, the friends discuss Cathy’s nosiness, their thoughts on kids being kept in kennels, and what Christi considers the best line uttered in the history of reality TV.

Quotes

“It’s like we alternate weeks of who’s going to be tortured, me or you. Last week it was you, this week it’s me.” (4:54-5:01 | Kelly)

“The lighting on me in that room is so good! It’s good lighting! Our lighting was always such shit and you could see into our pores! No wonder the Kardashians bring their own ring lights everywhere.” (12:13-12:34 | Christi)

“When you’re on a reality show, you could be thinking something in your head and the audience never knows. So, you have to say it out loud so that they know what the storyline is.” (23:12-23:24 | Christi)

“Abby has nothing to go home to! So how did I settle? I have a husband and a family to go home to and what does she have? When everybody leaves the studio, what does she have to go home to? She had her dog.” (28:03-28:16 | Kelly)

“Why does Cathy want to know about our husbands? She doesn’t even know anything about us!” (32:42-32:46 | Kelly)

“Everyone would say, ‘If you don’t like it, why don’t you get more privates?’ We tried! We couldn’t get them because Melissa was the one scheduling them.”(34:47-34:56 | Christi)

“Again, first three episodes, I don’t know why anyone would like me, because so far, I’ve just been a nasty bitch the whole time.”(40:07-40:12 | Christi)

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Adventures in Babysitting