logo
episode-header-image
Apr 29
9m 16s

My Awkward First Year in Denmark

KAY XANDER MELLISH
About this episode

One thing no one ever tells you about moving to a new country is the incredible awkwardness of it. As a newcomer, you are constantly doing or saying or planning the wrong thing, something that would be perfectly reasonable in your home culture but is weird or laughable in your new location.

Like eating alone in a restaurant.

Eating alone is no big deal in Manhattan, where I was coming from, and it's also common in Japan, Korea, and Hong Kong, where I had briefly lived. But not in Denmark. 

When I arrived in Denmark 25 years ago, I already had a job, as a content creator for a small tech company. What I didn't have was any friends, or any more than a superficial knowledge of Danish language or culture.

My new colleagues were very pleasant, but like most Danes over 25, they had already built their social networks and weren't really looking for someone to hang out with after work. So I spent most of my free time alone, living temporarily at a small hotel by Peblinge Sø, where I chatted aimlessly with the receptionist (who believed I was in love with him, I later found out). Then I went out to eat by myself at a local restaurant.

Danes generally don't eat alone at restaurants, so after a while I became a familiar figure that the staff called "the hamburger girl" after my standard order.

-------

This episode of the "How to Live in Denmark" podcast is the introduction of my new book, The Danish Year, available exclusively for download on Amazon Kindle. 

Up next
Jul 27
Copenhagen vs Berlin
Copenhagen and Berlin are less than an hour apart by plane, but very different in spirit. Copenhagen is a mostly clean, mostly safe, mostly well-run, mostly get up early in the morning and get to work type of city. Berlin is fun, exciting, and a little bit chaotic. Long before I ... Show More
7m 13s
Jun 24
Brok: The Danish art of petty complaints
Brok rhymes with clock, and it is a Danish word that describes the petty complaints that are common in one of the happiest countries in the world, and one of the richest. It's complaining as a social activity, usually about things that are more irritating than dangerous. I feel t ... Show More
6m 25s
May 28
Authenticity and the Danish Summer Light
These are the light times in Denmark. In May and June, it's light until 10 or 11 in the evening, and then the sun is back around 4am. It's a nice contrast to the dark times in winter, although all that light can make you feel a bit jittery and overstimulated. It's also one of the ... Show More
8m 22s
Recommended Episodes
Dec 2021
Copenhagen
The food and natural beauty of Copenhagen, the economic and cultural center of Denmark. Home to famed chef Rene Redzepi and his brainchild Noma - regarded by critics as one of the world's best restaurants. Original airdate: 2013, Season 2. To learn more about how CNN protects lis ... Show More
47m 28s
Feb 2024
Denmark: Cashing in on Sweden's Eurovision
As Malmö receives the keys to this year's event, we look at how Copenhagen in Denmark could be the real economic winners - without having to pay for it. When the Swedish city last hosted the competition in 2013, officials estimated around a third of overnight stays were in the Da ... Show More
18m 27s
Jun 2024
Denmark and the Novo Nordisk effect
<p>In the first of a two-part series, in collaboration with The Food Chain, we look at the impact of the success of weight-loss drug manufacturer Novo Nordisk on the small country of Denmark. </p><p>The Scandinavian nation is where the company is based, and with a population of l ... Show More
17m 29s
Feb 2021
Copenhagen (part one)
We discover the joys of Smørrebrød, rail against the Noma-inspired culinary trend of muscle reduction, indulge in a hygge polemic and visit and expressionist church. 
25m 14s
Sep 2025
‘A new foe’: Conscripting women in Denmark
Denmark is eyeing up the military threat from Russia – and dramatically increasing the numbers in its national service. Now, 18-year-old girls are facing a call up.The BBC has been granted rare access to a military base on the outskirts of Copenhagen to see the newest recruits le ... Show More
26m 43s
Nov 2024
394: Danish folklore: Heartless
🧙‍♂️How a Scientist Becomes a Wizard🧙‍♂️Two stories from Denmark about people dealing with their neighbors in very different ways. One loves and accepts them. The other just wants to get away so he tears out his own heart.😈 The Creature: Abumi-guchi (鐙口)AKA Stirrup mouth. Your ... Show More
42m 9s
Oct 2014
The New Vikings
In recent years, sperm has been shipped out of Denmark at an astonishing rate, producing thousands of babies worldwide - many in the UK. In 2006, the UK was not importing any Danish sperm, but by 2010 Denmark was supplying around a third of our total imports. Why are Danish donor ... Show More
27m 2s