Sarah watches the ground-shifting VPR mid-season trailer and immediately realizes who she wants to invite to the cloff to mention it all: Pedro Pascal. Mysteriously, he doesn't appear to have noticed Sarah's Instagram DM/Paperless Post/carrier pigeon/voicemail at CAA/drive by that abandoned mall set somewhere in Canada/Craigslist Missed Connection/MySpace top 8/swipe on Hinge. So Sarah resolves herself to not only "endure and survive," but thrive, with a cloffice kiki alongside one of her fave Bravoholic translators, and a VPR super-stan, Alison Leiby (writer, comedian, co-host of the podcast "Ruined," and possible Tre Hugger nemesis). They throw on their shared gold wired eyeglasses (better to see the truth that Sandoval never will), and discuss a myriad of reasons why the Scandoval continues to be a "choose your own adventure" for the ages, how to consciously uncouple in an environment that rebukes boundaries/healing, why showing up to the reunion may be Raquel's first real step of accountability (one Sandoval may be less interested in seeing happen), which RHONJ has become symbolic for both distancing viewers from the series or connecting them deeper, and the interpretive dance of connection, critique, and projection between Bravolebs and Bravo fans. Ariana may have told Sandoval to die, but fingers crossed this season of VPR lives forever - it's Andy's Girls, Episode 396!

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The One Where Bob Trips An Old Woman