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"Stop it right now! Please why didn't we see that on TV!? I want the footage, show me now! I want a Candy Apples spin-off right now!" Well if there's one thing Christi and Dr. Intern Matt would like you to know, it's that we've been robbed of a Candy Apples show that would have been as entertaining as Dance Moms if there was any justice in this world. Oh yes, Dr. Intern Matt has returned! Kelly is out scrambling to wedding prep this week and we've made a house call to the doctor. And you needed any indication how much Bitch #1 and Temu Bitch #2 get along, this two hours only covers half of "Abby's Trash, Cathy's Treasure"!

Cathy is back with a full vengeance and recruits (better read of course as Production forced her to recruit) all bunch of girls and moms that Abby turned away during her search for new ALDC members. The only problem of course is it's yet another Candy Apples group that's been roughly assembled together, haven't danced with one another before and therefore are un-prepared to go up against the ALDC, and are destined to take second anyway so why should Cathy even bother. The new moms don't take too kindly to the situation, but hey they're on TV so they'll stick it out while they can! But when the Candy Apples catch wind of how many dances the ALDC will be running at their next competition, they begin to but heads over why they aren't offered that same options to compete (again it's because you're designed to lose).

Meanwhile the ALDC does have quite a lot of dances in the pipeline. Aside from the group dance (which is based on the Clue board game so strap in for some prime Christi geeking out content), the girls are offered three duets! Kalani and Maddie are poised as the obvious powerhouse team, Nia and Mackenzie are paired to give them a shot at collective redemption in Abby's eyes or something, and finally JoJo and Kendall are paired together for a Freaky Friday dance just so we can keep making fun of JoJo (which is feeling increasingly cruel).

But the big news of the week is Sia dropped the music video for Elastic Heart featuring Maddie and Shia LaBeouf (yikes). And if you think that pairing is controversial now, it was a. pretty big internet controversy back in the day! So it's not shocking that both on camera and behind the scenes it's a big point of contention, especially after Cathy (again being forced by production) talks to TMZ and calls Melissa out for allowing the video to happen. How will Melissa respond? I mean how does she always respond?

Quotes

“Ok but P.S. if you're going to type my name, whoever wrote the field notes, please spell it correctly! It's Christi with an I." (1:08:46-1:08:54 | Christi)
“I think Abby looks better in Season 5 than I've ever seen her look. I think Abby looks amazing in Season 5!" (1:19:42-1:19:51 | Christi & Matt)
“Look, I have a doctorate, but in Dance Moms, not in words. Yes and I'm a doctor, but not in language" (1:36:08-1:36:15 | Christi & Matt)
“Let's hope they stick to that agreement. It's a pact, they don't stick to pacts." (1:55:16-1:55:21 | Christi & Matt)

Links

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