logo
episode-header-image
Nov 17
36m 18s

Episode 487: My manager ignores me durin...

JAMISON DANCE AND DAVE SMITH
About this episode

In this episode, Dave and Jamison answer these questions:

  1. “My manager insists on a weekly 1:1 with me, but he rarely pays attention. He’s often on his laptop, texting, checking email — basically anything but listening. I’ve tried sending agendas, rescheduling, reducing frequency, waiting until he’s less busy — nothing helps. I’ve even started sitting in silence until he notices I’ve stopped talking, but that only works for a minute. This has caused real problems. For example, he almost had me cancel a million-dollar project because he misheard me say “Java” instead of “JavaScript.” When he finally realized I was right, he said, “Every time I heard Java I automatically tuned out.” How do I handle a 1:1 with a manager who won’t pay attention, without risking my work or my relationship with him?”

  2. “I’ve worked for a big retailer for 10 years now and I used to really enjoy it. I liked my team a lot, problems we worked on, technologies we used. Unfortunately the last few yours brought a few rounds of layoffs and my old team doesn’t exist anymore and the new team is pretty much awful. They’re all on the East Coast, while I’m on the West Coast. I’m required to work EST hours but also to commute to the office 5 days a week and sit there alone and talk to my team on zoom. I’m a staff software engineer and I haven’t been programming much for the past year. Most of my time is spent in calls, I start every day with the same 3 calls. I live 50 miles from the office and I take a company shuttle that leaves at 7am. I’m required to join the calls from my phone. I leave for work at 6:30am, I’m back at home at 6:30pm. A few times a week I need to do deployment at 10pm. I tried speaking to my manager and to my director. They don’t care. My every attempt to improve our processes is met with opposition. My manager is afraid of changes. I can’t believe this is where I am but I’m too tired to prepare for job hunting. I can’t afford to quit. I don’t know how to get myself on track and dust off my programming and interviewing skills. I’m praying they’ll lay me off so that I can use the severance to do all those things. But this isn’t really a plan, it’s wishful thinking, and I’m afraid that my career options are getting worse by the minute. Do you have any advice on how to get myself out of this hell hole?”

Up next
Nov 10
Episode 486: No one on my team talks and skip level meetings
In this episode, Dave and Jamison answer these questions: I work at a big tech company on a remote team of about 10 people, and most of them have been here for 5+ years. I’m in the “newer” half of the team with 4 years here. My problem is, in group meetings, absolutely NO ONE tal ... Show More
29m 19s
Nov 3
Episode 485: I'm terrible at hiring decisions and my coworker spams us with AI-generated memes
In this episode, Dave and Jamison answer these questions: What signals do you look for when interviewing candidates? I’ve helped interview many people at this point and almost all of the engineers that I marked as “hire” that we brought on board ended up being low performers and ... Show More
43m 53s
Oct 27
Episode 484: How to get a raise after slacking off for YEARS and my PM won't stop DM'ing me
In this episode, Dave and Jamison answer these questions: Hi! Love your show and how casually you talk and make fun of everything! I started my career as a freelancer and then joined a mid-size software development company to learn how the sausage is really made, salary wasn’t th ... Show More
29m 27s
Recommended Episodes
Mar 2023
Navigating Toxic Work Cultures & Office Politics: Q&A with Marty and Em
<p>Episode #238 // Leadership drives culture, culture drives performance.</p><br><p>Today, we look at a few very common team culture dynamics, and give some perspectives for how you might be able to handle these situations, when you find yourself in the middle of them.</p><br><p> ... Show More
16m 8s
Aug 2024
Improve Your Chances In Your Engineering Job Search Using the Scientific Method with Brian Pulliam
<p>I'm joined today by Brian Pulliam. I've personally engaged Brian as a career coach. In this discussion we'll talk a bit about coaching, and about how you can set yourself up to become a much better candidate in your job search as an engineering leader.</p><p><strong>Values Exe ... Show More
1h 26m
Feb 2024
How to Build a Technical Strategy That Solves Business Problems | CircleCI CTO, Rob Zuber
<p>It doesn’t matter if you have an innovative technical strategy if you’re not solving problems the business cares about… <br/><br/>This week, host Conor Bronsdon sits down with Rob Zuber, CTO at CircleCI. They delve into the evolving role of engineering leaders, and the importa ... Show More
58m 45s
Sep 29
When To Stop Helping Agile Teams To Change—A Real Life Story | Tom Molenaar
<h1 id="docs-internal-guid-70be1e14-7fff-29bf-13ca-329fd5573134" dir="ltr" style= "line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 20pt; margin-bottom: 6pt;"> <span style= "font-size: 20pt; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: ... Show More
17m 7s
Feb 2025
The Right (And Wrong) Way To Spend Money At Your Startup
<p>Many startups fail because they run out of money. So how should you think about how to spend the money you raise?</p><p><br></p><p>In this episode of Office Hours, YC General Partners Brad Flora, Pete Koomen, Nicolas Dessaigne, and Gustaf Alströmer discuss how to spend respons ... Show More
29m 6s
Sep 17
AI: Copilot or Job Killer? - An Interview With Eliman Dambell
Some CEOs brag about using AI to cut jobs. But there’s another way to see it.In this episode, I sit down with Eliman Dambell, co-founder of Savvio.ai and former London finance director turned crypto analyst. He brings a unique perspective on why “AI should be a copilot, not a rep ... Show More
31m 53s
Mar 2025
625: Melody Wilding - Effectively Managing Up, Designing Your 1:1s, Getting Paid What You're Worth, Creating The 1 Pagers, & Earning The Triple Win
<p>Go to <a href= "https://www.LearningLeader.com">www.LearningLeader.com</a> for full show notes</p> <p>The Learning Leader Show with Ryan Hawk</p> <p>Notes:</p> <ul> <li aria-level="1">"I sensed something was terribly wrong when I dialed into the conference line at 8:00 a.m. an ... Show More
1h 1m
Aug 13
How to Prompt GPT-5
Nearly a week into the GPT-5 era, users are still divided on its quality—but one thing’s clear: it’s more steerable than any previous model, and prompts make or break results. In this episode, we cut through the debate and share 11 practical prompting techniques you can use right ... Show More
29m 42s
Aug 15
How to use AI: Prompts vs. Projects vs. Agents
A lot of people aren't sure whether they should just chat with an AI model, craft a structured prompt, spin up a project, or unleash a full-blown agent. In this episode, we break down the differences between these approaches and share a practical decision-making framework. We'll ... Show More
1h 7m
Apr 2024
How to use your time and money for good — as effectively as possible — with Will MacAskill
To get a free copy of the Infectious Generosity book, visit ted.com/generosity William MacAskill is a moral philosopher and the cofounder of the Effective Altruism Movement, a school of thought that tries to answer the question: How can we do as much good as possible? Chris and W ... Show More
46m 24s