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Text: Emotional Regulation
Today, I want to talk to you about something we all deal with, but don’t always notice: emotional regulation. That’s just a fancy way of saying how we manage our feelings, especially the difficult ones like anger, frustration, or sadness.
Let me start with a story.
Last week, I was in line at the town hall. I had to get a birth certificate for the nth time in my life. That was already a bad start. It was late, the line was long, I wasn’t sure I would get to the window before closing time, the croud was loud and rude and I had two tired kids with me. One of them started asking to play with my phone, over and over, and of course I said no. She began crying loudly, and I felt my own frustration rising. I could feel the heat in my face, my heart beating faster. My first instinct was to snap: “Stop it right now!”
But in that moment, I paused. I took a slow breath. I reminded myself, “She’s not trying to ruin my day. She’s just tired and disappointed.” By slowing down my reaction, I stayed calm. Eventually, she calmed down too. That’s emotional regulation in action.
So how do we practice it in everyday life?
One simple metgod is naming the emotion. If you feel angry, say to yourself, “I’m angry right now.” It sounds simple, but it actually helps your brain shift from reacting to thinking.
Another technique is pausing before reacting. Imagine you get a negative comment from a co-worker. Instead of sending a sharp reply, take a moment. Breathe. Even stepping away for two minutes can change how you respond.
A third tool is reframing the situation. Let’s say you’re stuck in traffic and you’re late. Instead of focusing on how unfair it is, you might think, “This gives me time to listen to my favorite podcast.” The problem doesn’t disappear, but the stress lessens.
The truth is, emotional regulation doesn’t mean ignoring feelings. It means accepting them and choosing what to do next. Feelings are signals, not orders. Anger, sadness, frustration—they’re information. And once you learn to manage them, you gain more control over your actions, your relationships, and even your happiness.
So next time you feel your emotions rising, try to pause, name the feeling, and choose your response. It’s not easy, but like any skill, the more you practice, the stronger you get.
Thanks for listening.