logo
episode-header-image
Aug 28
8m 12s

Signs You're Trapped in a False Self

Mark Ettensohn, Psy.D.
About this episode

In this Weekly Insight, Dr. Ettensohn explores subtle signs of false self experiencing. Drawing from clinical work and developmental theory, he reflects on how early relational demands can lead individuals to organize their identity around performance, compliance, or emotional suppression.

The episode examines how precocious self-monitoring, idealized emotional states, and internalized expectations often become automatic, forming a false self that feels necessary for connection but ultimately leaves authentic self experience obscured.

Dr. Ettensohn situates the false self as a broad survival strategy shaped by narcissogenic environments. With compassion and psychological nuance, he offers signs that may indicate someone is operating from a false self, and encourages viewers to reflect gently on moments of disconnection, exhaustion, or rigid self-presentation. The goal, as he frames it, is not to attack or dismantle these protective structures, but to begin noticing them and allowing more space for what is real.

LISTEN ON APPLE PODCASTS: https://rb.gy/cklpum LISTEN ON GOOGLE PODCASTS: https://rb.gy/fotpca LISTEN ON AMAZON MUSIC: https://rb.gy/g4yzh8

VISIT THE WEBSITE: https://www.healnpd.org

Up next
Today
Seminar Series 1: Defining Pathological Narcissism - The Criterion Problem
This episode marks the beginning of a new educational series from Heal NPD, featuring Dr. Mark Ettensohn and his associates: Deanna Young, Psy.D. and Danté Spencer, MA. This series offers a rare window into clinical reasoning and supervision, bringing viewers inside real discussi ... Show More
53m 29s
Aug 28
From Ideal to Real: Lessons From My Father
Dr. Ettensohn reflects on the recent loss of his father. Drawing on both clinical theory and personal experience, he explores how children internalize idealized images of caregivers as a source of safety and reassurance during times of vulnerability. This episode examines how the ... Show More
7m 35s
Aug 28
Dissociation is Key: Linking Splitting, DID, BPD, and NPD
Dr. Ettensohn expands on his recent episode exploring splitting as a dissociative process. Drawing from clinical experience and developmental theory, he addresses a common question: What’s the difference between splitting, identity diffusion, and Dissociative Identity Disorder (D ... Show More
9m 31s
Recommended Episodes
Apr 2025
Transference Focused Psychotherapy & Personality Disorders with Dr. Otto Kernberg
In this episode, Dr. Otto Kernberg, a pioneer of Transference-Focused Psychotherapy (TFP), discusses personality disorders through a psychoanalytic lens. Explore key insights into Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), identity diffusion, primitive defense mechanisms such as spli ... Show More
1h 28m
Feb 2025
Transference Focused Psychotherapy, Borderline Personality Disorder, Narcissism, with Frank Yeomans, MD
In this episode, Dr. David Puder interviews Dr. Frank Yeomans, a leading expert in Transference-Focused Psychotherapy (TFP) and personality disorders, to explore the treatment of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). They discuss objec ... Show More
1h 53m
Jun 2024
lessons from the borderline (how BPD is a disorder of relationship, NOT of personality) [preview]
Borderline personality disorder is often stigmatized, with a significant number of professionals within the industry regarding borderline patients with contempt. As one psychiatrist told anthropologist Tanya Lurhmann, “if you’re talking to a patient and it feels like your interna ... Show More
28m 45s
Aug 2020
Understanding Histrionic Personality Disorder
In today's episode of Mental Health // Demystified, Dr. Tracey Marks discusses another Cluster B personality disorder: Histrionic personality. Histrionic personality disorder is A pattern of excessive emotionality and attention seeking, beginning by early adulthood and present in ... Show More
13m 21s
Jan 2025
Borderline Personality Disorder: Splitting & Identity Diffusion with Mark Ruffalo
In this episode of the Psychiatry & Psychotherapy Podcast, Dr. David Puder is joined by Mark Ruffalo to dive deep into the complexities of borderline personality disorder (BPD). Together, they unpack Donald Burnham’s influential 1966 paper on splitting and identity diffusion, exp ... Show More
1h 44m
Jan 2024
2.6 Borderline Personality Disorder (Good Psychiatric Management)
Dr. Lois Choi-Kain, Director of the Gunderson Personality Disorders Institute at McLean Hospital and Associate Professor of Psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, introduces us to borderline personality disorder (BPD). We discuss the prevalence, naturalistic course, and treatments ... Show More
1h 8m
Dec 2024
Encore - What is borderline personality disorder? With Carla Sharp, PhD
Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is one of the most frequently diagnosed personality disorders, and one of the most misunderstood. Carla Sharp, PhD, of the University of Houston, discusses how BPD is diagnosed, defined and treated, how family members can help children and ad ... Show More
37m 32s
May 2024
Do You Have Aspergers Or Narcissism This is how YOU know
Welcome to "Understanding Personality: Asperger's vs. Narcissism." In this thought-provoking episode, we explore the distinctions between Asperger's Syndrome and Narcissistic Personality Disorder, providing valuable insights to help listeners differentiate between the two ... Show More
6m 17s
May 2025
Narcissist vs. Dismissive Avoidant: 9 Crucial Differences You Must Know
Get Free Access to All of My Attachment & Relationship Courses This Mental Health Awareness Month. Start Your 14-day Trial Now and Complete a Course Before the Offer Ends! https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/mha-month?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=mha-month&utm_med ... Show More
1 h
Jul 2023
The Struggle: Borderline Personality Disorder Pt5
Dr. Phil discusses borderline personality disorder and the impact it can have on people's lives. Labels are important for communication and understanding when it comes to therapy and treatment. Borderline personality disorder is characterized by a pervasive pattern of instability ... Show More
52m 27s