Janene Lin loathed the moment when the dinner bill would hit the table. When her date would pay, she felt like her love was for sale. Splitting the bill felt like no one had anything at stake. Most of the time, she would pay the bill herself, but that left her feeling uncared-for. So Janene prepared a pitch: On her next date, her third with a man named Aodhán, she would ask to open a joint bank account.

On this episode of Modern Love, Lin tells our host, Anna Martin, why this risky move felt like the best solution, how Aodhán reacted and what it taught her about what money means to her and her family.

This episode is adapted from Janene Lin’s essay The Woman Who Always Paid for Dinner.

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We Dated?! (w/ Lou Wilson)