Very few men think of relationships in the frame of the “sexual marketplace,” although the rules and principles of attraction and connection can very much be understood as an economic model, of sorts, of perceived value. And, the man who offers the most perceived value, is the man who gets the girl. Whether you’re married or single, understanding the intricacies and nuance of what makes a man attractive to a woman will help him get more of what he wants from her.
My guest today, psychologist Orion Taraban joins me to discuss these dynamics between men and women so we all get more of what we’re after in relationships. We cover the importance of knowing your value and knowing what is valuable to the opposite sex, why love has little or nothing to do with attraction, what is known as the “Madonna-Whore Complex,” the concepts of Captains and Passengers as it relates to dating and mating, the difference between talking and communicating, and how best to make yourself more attractive.
SHOW HIGHLIGHTS
00:00 - Introduction to Captain and Passenger Roles
00:30 - Orion Taraban’s Background and Book Success
01:30 - The Role of YouTube in Building an Audience
03:24 - Orion’s Communication Style and Credentials
07:04 - The Captain and Passenger Metaphor
11:33 - Prerogatives of the Captain
12:23 - Liabilities of Female Captaincy
15:29 - Sexual Marketplace Dynamics
18:38 - Love and Relationships
20:15 - Male Sexuality and Objectification
26:16 - Attraction and the “Bad Boy” Myth
28:12 - The Two Women Concept
32:21 - Communication vs. Talking in Relationships
37:24 - Self-Knowledge and Attraction
41:14 - Double Standards in the Sexual Marketplace
47:20 - Body Count and Sexual Novelty
51:17 - The Coolidge Effect and Male Drive
56:13 - Monogamy and Historical Context
59:54 - Relationships as Economic Transactions
1:03:36 - Marriage as a Business Partnership
1:09:48 - What Women Want in Men
1:16:01 - Standing Out in the Sexual Marketplace
1:23:12 - Where to Connect with Orion