When the Church Harms Instead of Heals: A Conversation with Dr. Diane Langberg
Does the church always protect the vulnerable? Unfortunately, the answer is no. Too often, church leaders and institutions protect their own reputation, power, and influence instead of the wounded and abused. This episode is a crucial conversation with world-renowned trauma expert Dr. Diane Langberg, who has spent over five decades counseling survivors of abuse and working to bring truth and light into the darkest places within the church.
In this episode, Leslie Vernick and Dr. Langberg discuss how churches can—and must—do better. They expose the dangerous ways churches enable abuse, misuse power, and silence victims in the name of God. If you've ever felt unheard, dismissed, or spiritually manipulated by those in leadership, this conversation will offer both validation and hope.
Key Takeaways:1. Why Churches Struggle to See and Address Abuse
The church has been slow to acknowledge abuse within its walls. Too often, the institution is prioritized over the people. Jesus called leaders to "feed my sheep," yet many churches protect the system instead. Abuse survivors need churches that reflect Christ’s heart, not just uphold doctrine.
2. The Harmful Messages Women Hear About Abuse and Marriage
Many women are told that preserving marriage at all costs is God’s will, even at the expense of their physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being. But God hates sin more than divorce. Jesus himself walked away from people who refused truth, and women are not called to stay in destructive relationships to honor God.
3. The Self-Deception of Abusive Church Leaders
Abusive pastors and leaders often twist Scripture to justify their actions. They protect their reputations and minimize their sins, deceiving not only others but themselves. True repentance requires exposure and accountability, not secrecy and cover-ups.
4. How to Create Safer Churches for Abuse Survivors
Churches must shift their focus from building large institutions to becoming places that reflect Christ’s love and justice. This means listening to survivors, seeking expert training, and prioritizing character over charisma in leadership.
5. God's Heart for the Wounded
For those who have been harmed by their church, Dr. Langberg offers a powerful reminder: God sees, weeps, and hates the evil done in His name. He does not ask you to stay in an abusive situation. He is for you, not against you.
If you've been hurt by the church, know this: God is not like the leaders who failed you. He sees you, loves you, and wants you to walk in freedom. Your voice matters, and healing is possible.
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