logo
episode-header-image
Feb 2025
26m 32s

Take what You Need, Soft Words For Hard ...

MONIQUE KOVEN
About this episode

Today I am sharing my second interview with trauma therapist and author of Aundi Kolber. Her latest book is Take What You Need, Soft Words For Hard Days. We continue our conversation on the necessity of compassion and gentleness in the healing process. Aundi emphasizes the ebb and flow of healing, the significance of recognizing and validating personal needs, and the impact of developmental trauma on emotional health. She also explores the role of shame in hindering healing and the necessity of embodied knowledge in therapy. The discussion concludes with a focus on the power of language in facilitating healing and the hope that her book can serve as a valuable resource for those on their healing journeys.

Podcast highlights:

  • Healing should be approached with gentleness and compassion.
  • The process of healing is not linear; it has ebbs and flows.
  • Compassion is essential in therapeutic settings.
  • Recognizing and validating our needs is crucial for healing.
  • Developmental trauma can have long-lasting effects on individuals.
  • Shame can prevent us from expressing our needs and seeking help.
  • Our bodies possess wisdom about our needs, even when we are unaware.
  • Healing often requires a thawing process to access buried emotions.
  • Language can be a powerful tool for healing and connection.
  • Resources like books can provide support on the healing journey.


Grab Aundi’s book “Take What You Need: Soft Words for Hard Days”

You can also find her previous books, Strong Like Water and Try Softer.

https://amzn.to/4hLIxqY

Aundi Kolber’s – Website and Instagram

If you're struggling, consider therapy with our paid partner. Visit

https://betterhelp.com/healingtrauma during signup and get 10% off your first month of therapy.



Find a list of trauma recovery books + resources for the healing trauma journey. https://www.thehealingtraumapodcast.com/resources/ SUPPORT this podcast for the cost of a coffee. Your support is appreciated! When you buy me a coffee, your support goes towards keeping the podcast running. HERE: https://buymeacoffee.com/thehealingtraumapodcast Subscribe and watch on Youtube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCJy4f23JvtdFuQGadOqy3PA Disclaimer: This episode and website may contains affiliate links. When you make a purchase, I may receive a small commission at no cost to you.

Our Sponsors:
* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code HEALING for a great deal: https://happymammoth.com


Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/the-healing-trauma-podcast/donations

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
Up next
Jul 3
Understanding Complex Trauma and Its Effects With Amber Trejo
In this episode of the Healing Trauma Podcast, guest host Leah Denton interviews Amber Trejoa licensed marriage and family therapist specializing in integrative trauma therapy. Amber shares her personal journey with trauma, her approach to therapy, and the complexities of dealing ... Show More
39m 59s
Jun 21
The Power of Memoir in Healing With Dr. Frank Anderson
In this episode of the Healing Trauma Podcast, guest host Dr. Mark McNear interviews Dr. Frank Anderson, a Harvard-trained psychiatrist and trauma expert, about his memoir 'To Be Loved.' They discuss the healing journey through writing, the importance of integrating personal trau ... Show More
33m 20s
Jun 14
The Power of Parts in Healing Trauma With Robin Shapiro
In this episode, Monique re-releases a conversation with trauma therapist Robin Shapiro, focusing on the concept of ego states and their role in trauma therapy. Robin explains how ego state therapy differentiates various parts of the self, particularly in individuals with trauma ... Show More
32m 36s
Recommended Episodes
May 20
A Guide to Heal Trauma and Step Into Your Soft Girl Era with Devi Brown
What does it mean to truly heal—and why do so many of us struggle to even begin? In this episode of A Really Good Cry, I sit down with healer, author, and spiritual educator Devi Brown for a deeply moving conversation about grief, joy, trauma, and the slow, sacred process of comi ... Show More
1h 16m
May 26
IQ-211: The Critical Step Most People Miss in Mind-Body Healing
What if your struggles with money were secretly holding back your health and healing? In this transformative IQ episode, Brandy Gillmore explores the powerful connection between emotional patterns around money and the ability to heal. She shares heartfelt insights from her own li ... Show More
14m 45s
Oct 2024
Exploring Writing and Meditation for Healing Complex PTSD with Anna Runkle
In this insightful episode of The Mindful Movement, host Les Raymond sits down with Anna Runkle, also known as "The Crappy Childhood Fairy." to explore how trauma, often rooted in childhood, shapes the nervous system and impacts both mental and physical health. Together, they unp ... Show More
56m 24s
Nov 2024
264: Sensitivity as Strength: Healing Your Mind, Body, and Relationships
Are you struggling with health issues, relationship challenges, or emotional sensitivity that feels overwhelming? You’re not alone—and this episode is here to help. In this transformative podcast, we explore how sensitivity, often seen as a weakness, can actually become your grea ... Show More
52m 25s
Jun 10
Tuesday Truth: Can Kindness Heal Trauma?
Have you ever wondered what neuroscience tells us about kindness and trauma healing? How impactful is kindness on our recovery journey? Listen in today to follow the science and find out! Book Sessions with Rose Here:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.thriveonlinecounselin ... Show More
13m 38s
May 2024
397: What Kind of Therapy Is Right for Me?
Hello, friends! In today’s episode, we dive deep into a listener’s question about finding the right therapy for a variety of complex mental health issues. This 29-year-old woman is struggling with childhood trauma, mental health challenges such as anxiety and depression, and rela ... Show More
49m 28s
Nov 2024
How This Simple Self Awareness Practice Can Heal Disease!
In this episode, we dive deep into the journey of healing emotional wounds, recognizing triggers, and understanding how our past experiences shape our present lives. Join us as David opens up about his own path to self-discovery and emotional resilience, shedding light on the imp ... Show More
1h 14m
Apr 21
Tired of Trying to Heal? This Is for You
Stop Managing Symptoms and Start The Healing Process Today. Click here. Podcast description: If healing has started to feel overwhelming or like just another thing to get right, this episode is for you. Dennis explores why the journey to recovery can sometimes feel heavier than t ... Show More
11m 24s
Jan 2025
#129 Everyday Home Therapy - How a Recipe Helps Aphasia Recovery
Everyday Home Therapy: How a Recipe Can Boost Your Aphasia Recovery Can a simple recipe help you rebuild your communication skills? Yes, it can! In this episode of the Listen for LIFE Aphasia Podcast, we dive into how everyday activities, like following a recipe, can support your ... Show More
21m 15s
Oct 2024
How To Heal Your Past, Improve Your Mental Wellbeing & Unlock Your Full Potential with Dr Bessel van der Kolk #483
Today’s returning guest is Dr Bessel van der Kolk. Bessel is a professor of psychiatry at Boston University School of Medicine and President of the Trauma Research Foundation. He's also the author of the iconic book, 'The Body Keeps the Score’, which first came out over 10 years ... Show More
1h 53m