In today’s episode of the Hardcore Self Help Podcast, I sit down with world-renowned psychiatrist, author, and DBT expert Dr. Blaise Aguirre to tackle the complex topic of self-hatred. As a pioneer in the treatment of borderline personality disorder (BPD) and adolescent mental health at McLean Hospital, Dr. Aguirre offers a compassionate and illuminating perspective on how self-hatred forms, why it’s so persistent, and how we can work toward healing.
Dr. Aguirre explains why self-hatred is often learned early in life through invalidating experiences and abusive environments and why it differs from self-criticism or depression. He introduces practical tools to break free from self-loathing, such as identifying its roots, recognizing toxic relationships, and taking steps to separate identity from these damaging beliefs.
We also discuss the challenges of treating patients with self-hatred, the transformative power of dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), and how his latest book, I Hate Myself, provides a groundbreaking resource for those suffering from this deeply ingrained struggle.
If you’ve ever wrestled with feelings of unworthiness or struggled to overcome negative beliefs about yourself, this episode is packed with strategies, hope, and actionable advice to help you move toward a healthier relationship with yourself.
Chapters:00:15 — Introduction: Meet Dr. Blaise Aguirre 02:00 — From Philosophy to Psychiatry: Dr. Aguirre’s Career Path 07:30 — Understanding Self-Hatred: How It Develops and Why It Persists 15:00 — The Role of Validation in Parenting and Mental Health 20:45 — The DBT Approach: Why Skills-Based Therapy Works for BPD and Self-Hatred 27:00 — Breaking Down Self-Hatred: Separating It from the Self 34:20 — Overcoming Self-Hatred: Practical Tools and Steps for Healing 40:15 — The Importance of Compassionate Treatment in Mental Health Care 45:00 — A Sneak Peek Into I Hate Myself 50:20 — What Parents and Caregivers Need to Know 57:00 — Dr. Aguirre’s Final Thoughts on Healing and Hope
About the PodcastI’m Dr. Robert Duff, a clinical psychologist and the host of the Hardcore Self Help Podcast. My mission is to break down complex mental health topics into relatable, actionable advice. On this podcast, we dive deep into mental health, personal development, and the strategies that help us thrive. Each episode features expert interviews, practical tips, and answers to listener questions, all designed to help you live a healthier, more fulfilled life.
Guest Links:This episode is brought to you by NoCD, a leading provider of virtual therapy for obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). If intrusive thoughts and compulsions are impacting your daily life, NoCD offers specialized Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) therapy. Schedule a free 15-minute consultation to learn more at www.nocd.com.
Hope you find this conversation as inspiring and thought-provoking as I did! Don’t forget to share your thoughts and takeaways in the comments.
Tags:#MentalHealth #SelfHatred #BlaiseAguirre #DBT #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #SelfCompassion #TraumaHealing #Parenting #Mindfulness #SelfHelp