The Outcast Podcast: Thanksgiving Chaos and Candy Cane Catastrophes
Ah, Thanksgiving—when we all gather around the table, pretend to like each other for 45 minutes, and then immediately regret inviting Uncle Jerry after his fifth rant about the good ol’ days. Welcome back to The Outcast Podcast, where turkey isn’t the only thing getting roasted this holiday season! Let’s dive into the chaos we unpacked this week.
Apparently, some folks are giving “family dinner” the middle finger this year. Why? Because Cousin Ricky won’t shut up about politics. One guy even said, “If I have to hear Aunt Carol say ‘fake news’ one more time, I’m skipping the mashed potatoes!” Honestly, we get it—political debates at the table are more uncomfortable than eating dry turkey with no gravy.
Pro tip: Bring pie. Everyone loves pie. No one yells about swing states over a slice of pumpkin.
We’re here for the Thanksgiving football lineup—because nothing says “family bonding” like yelling at the TV together. Lions, Cowboys, and a whole lot of beer-fueled bad calls? Count us in. Plus, if the games get boring, you can always start a friendly debate about whether the refs need glasses or an exorcism.
Now let’s talk about Drake claiming Kendrick’s label called him a child predator and inflated streams for "Not Like Us." Really, Drake? Thanksgiving is supposed to be about petty family drama, not petty rap drama. But hey, if these two want to throw mashed potatoes at each other instead of diss tracks, we’re here for it.
P.S. Can someone explain how streaming inflation works? Is there a Black Friday sale for Spotify plays we don’t know about? Asking for a friend.
File this under “things we can’t unhear.” An OnlyFans model got a candy cane stuck… well, somewhere candy canes don’t belong. First of all, who thought peppermint was a good idea for that? Second, let’s all take a moment to thank the ER staff who probably had to explain to her that candy canes are for decorating trees, not… you know, whatever that was.
In a bizarre twist of nostalgia, Aunt Jemima is back on the bottle. But wait—wasn’t she canceled? Apparently, the pancake gods decided it was time for a redemption arc. The jury’s out on whether people are actually celebrating or just confused, but hey, syrup is syrup. As long as it’s drowning our waffles, we’re happy.
And because no podcast is complete without existential dread, Joe Rogan thinks we’re inching toward WW3. Cool, thanks for ruining our cranberry sauce, Joe. Nothing says “holiday cheer” like global conflict on the horizon. But let’s be real: If WW3 happens, we’re still fighting over who gets the last piece of pie. Priorities.
Here’s the takeaway from this week’s chaos:
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Tune in, buckle up, and enjoy the ride, folks. This is The Outcast Podcast—where the unexpected is just another day at the office.
Whether you’re celebrating with family, friends, or just your dog and a bottle of wine, we hope you have a Thanksgiving full of food, laughter, and as little dysfunction as possible. And if things get weird, don’t worry—we’ll be back next week to talk about it.
Stay Outcast,
The Outcast Podcast Crew