logo
episode-header-image
Nov 2024
52m 9s

Thanksgiving With My Wife and Girlfriend

The New York Times
About this episode

Townsend Davis had been married for more than a decade when his wife, Brigid, was diagnosed with early-onset Alzheimer’s disease. Their lives changed immediately. Townsend became Brigid’s caregiver, sorting her medication day after day, making their home accessible, and finding someone to look after her while he worked and raised their sons. He was committed to Brigid, and wanted to be there for her as her condition progressed.

One day, not long after her diagnosis, Brigid told Townsend she wanted him eventually to find a new partner. But Townsend couldn’t imagine it. Searching for another love seemed too complicated, and he was focused on caring for Brigid and raising their family.

Then, years later, Townsend met Deb.

On this episode of Modern Love, Townsend explains what it was like to forge a new partnership as he remained married to Brigid, and what happened when he brought his wife and his girlfriend together for a Thanksgiving dinner.

This episode is adapted from Townsend’s Modern Love essay from 2024, "A Family Dinner With My Wife and Girlfriend."

Modern Love is looking for your stories! We’re working on an episode about the dating memories you want to forget. We want to know: What was the worst date you went on this year? What happened? And what are you trying to do differently when it comes to love in the new year? Whether you’re singled or partnered, tell us about your bad dates. Send us your story by recording a voice memo and emailing it to modernlovepodcast@nytimes.com. Please include your name and where you’re based. You might hear your voice on a future episode of Modern Love.

How to submit a Modern Love Essay to The New York Times

How to submit a Tiny Love Story

Unlock full access to New York Times podcasts and explore everything from politics to pop culture. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.

Up next
Aug 20
Bridget Everett Says a Best Friend Can Be Your Greatest Love (Encore)
Stories of romantic love are everywhere, but the actor, singer and comedian Bridget Everett says that friendships deserve our attention, too. Onscreen and in everyday life.Last Fall, Everett appeared on Modern Love to talk about her HBO Original series “Somebody Somewhere,” which ... Show More
38m 9s
Aug 13
Where Did All My Male Friendships Go?
Sam Graham-Felsen never imagined being lonely. Throughout his childhood and as a young man his life revolved around his friends. But when Sam got married and then had kids, going out with his friends almost felt like a luxury. After years of focusing on everything in his life exc ... Show More
1h 1m
Aug 6
The Kind of Pain She Wanted
For her entire life, Grace Hussar has been an overthinker. No matter how much she wanted to be in the moment, she always felt as if she was just outside it. But when she took up endurance running, she realized something: Extreme pain turned her thoughts off. She wanted more of th ... Show More
46m 35s
Recommended Episodes
May 28
298: Dating After Divorce, Addiction, and Choosing the Right Love w/ Laurie Woolever
In this powerful and deeply human conversation, Matthew sits down with Laurie Woolever—author of Care and Feeding: A Memoir—to explore the journey of reclaiming one’s voice after years of living in the shadow of larger-than-life figures like Anthony Bourdain and Mario Batali. Top ... Show More
1h 10m
Nov 2024
482: The Evolution Of Your Relationship, Social Media And More!
In today's wide ranging conversation, Dr. Jenn and Chase discuss why you might want to rethink who you follow on social media, how your relationships will evolve and how to have difficult conversations. Listen to today's show for valuable relationship insights and tools you can s ... Show More
46m 23s
Aug 2024
Can People See Your Love for Each Other?
Do you remember what first attracted you to your spouse? John and Greg share what drew them to their wives. Plus, Jim Daly speaks with Matt and Lisa Jacobson about how they've learned to still be romantic to each other in public. Then, Erin Smalley offers hope to couples who've l ... Show More
11m 3s
Nov 2022
Is Your Relationship ‘Beautiful People’ Proof?
Claim a free ticket to our virtual tour show An elderly man was attacked with a hammer in his own home, and somehow this has become a ‘debate’ about free speech in the US. Why?  Plus, Romantic Comedies are hot again. At least, that’s what everyone is saying. So why are they so ha ... Show More
35m 39s
Oct 2024
Monsters. Whose Story Is It? A Trial by Social Media and Can You Ask For Your Ex to Pay You Back?
Hey Lifers, Britt and Laura won a big, fancy radio award for best podcast hosts!! Laura is finishing off sailing the high seas on her first cruise so producer Keeshia is filling in for her today.  Both her and Britt have unexpected and uncalled for hangovers from the awards night ... Show More
50m 58s
Jun 29
‘Modern Love’: 'Materialists' Director Celine Song Believes in Love at First Conversation
The director Celine Song won over audiences and critics alike with her first feature film, “Past Lives,” the semi-autobiographical tale of a married Korean American woman meeting up with her former childhood sweetheart. Now Song is back with another story about love called “Mater ... Show More
32m 22s
Jul 15
ASKING ERICA ALL YOUR UNCOMFORTABLE QUESTIONS!!
This week, it’s Erica’s turn in the hot seat and we had her answer allll your guys questions. From getting cheated on over FaceTime to sneaking boys in and underage partying, we’re unpacking it all.We talk middle child syndrome, stubborn sibling energy, Erica’s romantic weekend g ... Show More
55 m
May 2023
S16E12: Dating In Different Cultures
Buckle up as we're about to embark on a trip around the world to find out what it's like to date when you're the one immersed in a new culture. We're chatting with Kat about her experience dating (and finding love!) in Brazil and Andy, who has been living (and dat ... Show More
1h 38m
Jun 2024
Sami & Andrew Spalter’s Love Story Part I: When You Know, You Know!
In this special episode of Transform, host Sami Spalter sits down with her “biggest blessing” — her husband, Andrew Spalter, for part one of their love story and transformative journey together.From a detailed play-by-play of how they met to their whirlwind first dates (we’re tal ... Show More
1 h
Oct 2024
"Should I Give This Person My Heart?"
In the dating phase, what are good qualities to look for in a spouse? John asks the Smalley's about ways they encouraged their kids to search for a godly spouse. Also, Jim Daly asks social media influencers, Tovares and Safa Grey, on why dating is a great time to examine someone' ... Show More
10m 58s