How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie is a self-help classic ( cuốn sách tự lực kinh điển) that reads as a life manual (cẩm nang cuộc sống). The core idea (nội dung cốt lõi) is that you can change other people’s behavior (hành vi) simply by changing your own. It teaches you the principles (nguyên tắc) to better understand people, become a more likable person (người dễ mến) , improve relationships, win others over (chiếm cảm tình của người khác) , and influence behavior through leadership.
Six Ways to Make People Like You
Principle 1: Become genuinely interested in other people. (Nguyên tắc 1: Hãy thực sự hứng thú & quan tâm người khác)
If you only try to impress (gây ấn tượng) people and get them interested in you, you won’t have many true friends. Real friends are not made that way.
If you want to make friends, put yourself out to do things for other people – things that require time, energy, unselfishness, and thoughtfulness.
We are interested in others when they are interested in us.
Principle 2: Smile.
Actions speak louder than words (hành động thể hiện hơn lời nói), and a smile says, ‘I like you. You make me happy. I am glad to see you.’
You must have a good time meeting people if you expect them to have a good time meeting you.
Control your thoughts. Happiness depends on inner conditions, not outward ones. It isn’t what you have or who you are or where you are or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy. It is what you think about it.
Your smile is a messenger of your goodwill and brightens the lives of all who see it.
Principle 3: Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
The average person is more interested in his or her own name than in all the other names on earth put together.
A simple technique to memorize names:
1. If you don’t hear the name distinctly, ask the person to repeat it
2. For unusual names, ask for the spelling
3. Repeat the name several times during the conversation
4. Associate the name with the person’s features, expression, and general appearance
Principle 4: Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
To be a good conversationalist, be an attentive listener. To be interesting, be interested.
Ask questions that the other person will enjoy answering. Encourage them to talk about themselves and their accomplishments.
Remember people are a hundred times more interested in themselves and their wants and problems than they are in you and your problems. Think of that the next time you start a conversation.
Principle 5: Make the other person feel important – and do it sincerely.
There is one all-important law of human conduct: always make the other person feel important.
If we obey that law, we shall almost never get into trouble. In fact, that law, if obeyed, will bring us countless friends and constant happiness. But the very instant we break the law, we shall get into endless trouble.