I'm joined by my co-host and co-author of The Self-Driven Child Dr. William Stixrud to discuss how to be a non-anxious presence for your kids when things feel stressful and scary in the world. As parents and educators, modeling calmness and confidence helps children feel braver.
Dr. Bill Stixrud is a clinical neuropsychologist and co-author of the bestselling books The Self-Driven Child and What Do You Say? His work focuses on supporting kids to build resilience, motivation, and handle anxiety.
Timeline Summary:
[00:39] - Introducing the idea of a "non-anxious presence" and why it's so valuable for kids.
[02:43] - Where Dr. Stixrud first came across this concept and what it means.
[04:37] - Children look to parents' reactions in stressful situations. Staying calm helps kids feel confident.
[06:16] - Accepting worst-case scenarios while remaining motivated to support your child.
[09:23] - Taking care of yourself models self-care and brings equilibrium.
[11:06] - The benefits of scheduling prescribed worry time.
[12:40] - Dr. Stixrud's 50-year meditation practice for managing stress.
[15:43] - Rats turning a wheel to activate the prefrontal cortex and reduce stress.
[18:31] - Validating children's difficult feelings while emphasizing their competence.
[21:02] - Making home a safe haven and modeling handling hard emotions.
[22:35] - The recipe for developing resilience: stress plus rest and recovery.
[24:09] - Being calm helps other people manage crises better.
[25:50] - Good sleep gives perspective on challenges.
[27:27] - Wishing for peace in the Middle East. Moving towards non-anxious presence.
Links & Resources:
· The Self-Driven Child by Bill Stixrud and Ned Johnson
· What Do You Say? by Bill Stixrud and Ned Johnson
If you found this episode helpful, please rate, follow, share, and review the Self Driven Podcast. Being a non-anxious presence helps kids handle hard things. Look for opportunities to model calmness, confidence, and coping. Wishing you peace in unsettled times.
If you have a high school aged student and would like to talk about putting a tutoring or college plan together, reach out to Ned's company, PrepMatters at www.prepmatters.com