logo
episode-header-image
Jun 2022
1h 10m

Discipline

Christopher Lembke
About this episode

Build your discipline to move towards what you want out of life

“Spirituality is man’s attempt to shed ties with the various impulses promoting self-destruction” – Patricio Tehman Chincocolo

Follow along here: discipline requires habitual practice, but habitual practice requires discipline. So which comes first? I think the answer is either one, but if we have neither we start off with sheer willpower. 

Discipline is underpinned by:

  • Motivation
  • Willpower
  • Passion
  • Goals

Willpower is the starter fuel, like sugar it is used up quickly and then needs to be replaced by the other elements, but can be used on occasion when they falter. After we shift our mindset and decided to make a change in our lives we have our motivation, passion and goal figured out, it is our willpower that gets us started. It is the desire to experience something different while stuck in old habits and patterns. Willpower requires a lot of energy and strength helping us force our way through our mental obstacles. 

Motivation is the big picture version of willpower, our slow carbs if you like. It is the answer to our question “WHAT do I want to experience?”. The fuel for our motivation can be extrinsic or intrinsic. However, we need to be mindful that extrinsic motivation can, and often does, disappear, e.g. trying to impress a love interest by getting physically fit, we can’t control the feelings of the love interest and what happens with our motivation when the love interest still isn’t interested when we’ve become fit? On the flipside, if we get fit because we want to be healthier and in better condition and as a result we like ourselves better, and now a love interest shows up simply because we’ve shifted our energy from “not happy with myself” to “I love myself for who I am”. Hence, even if our initial motivation is extrinsic, we flip the script and seek out our intrinsic motivation and build your discipline from there. When our motivation is strong enough it will fuel the willpower for those days when we just “don’t have it in us”. We never run out of motivation, unless our mindset is shifted in another direction. 

Passion is the answer to the question, “Why do I want to experience what I have set as my goal?”. When we can evoke the feeling in our body how it feels to experience what we want, we fuel our motivation to keep going towards our goal. The clarity of our goals gives clarity to our motivation, which in turn determines the strength of our passion. 

Goals can be lofty with precise elements. The goal to become fit has no definition to it, but visualising your BMI going down, being able to run farther, faster and lifting heavier weights all have specifics attached to them. If we are trying to quit smoking, drinking, sugar, or something else, there is an end goal, but we break it down into measurable stages. The point is for us to find stages that we can believe in. If we smoke a pack of cigarettes per day, being smoke free the next day is going to be beyond our belief, but perhaps only smoking 19 cigarettes might be within our reach? 

In the example of quitting smoking, the goal is to quit smoking, the motivation is to not die of lung cancer and the passion is to feel free from addiction, feel healthier, not smell like smoke, or something else. Taking steps every day towards our goals is discipline, we have a disciplined practice that will lead us to our goals. Bringing discipline into all aspects of life helps strengthening our relationship with discipline. Perhaps start with making the bed in the morning, becoming organised with our finances, keeping our houses tidy, etc. All these actions helps us bring clarity into our energy and thus make for stronger underpinnings to our discipline. 

Discipline gives us a sense of control. However, the only three things we can control are our thoughts, our words and our actions, but we need discipline to control those, so go make your bed!



Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Up next
May 2023
Pride
Coming soon(ish)... Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. 
1h 14m
May 2023
Loyalty
Description coming soon(ish)... Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. 
2h 7m
Apr 2023
Blameless Accountability
"The day we finally hold ourselves accountable, rather than putting the blame on others, and come clean about our responsibilities, we unfetter ourselves from ravaging frustrations and fretting crankiness." - Erik Pevernagie, "the Unbearable Heaviness of Being"To get into the rig ... Show More
1h 37m
Recommended Episodes
Oct 2021
Selects: How Empathy Works
Empathy can often be confused with sympathy and regular old compassion. But it's not exactly either one of those. Some say a lack of empathy can indicate sociopathic tendencies, but that's not always true either. So what is empathy and what makes someone prone to empathize? Liste ... Show More
52m 21s
Jul 2020
Empathy
On this week's episode we are talking about empathy. Empathy is something that is extremely important in today's society and not everyone knows that it is actually a skill that can be taught. Take a listen to find out why empathy is so important, where it originates from and how ... Show More
37m 13s
Nov 2023
Becoming Emotionally Intelligent
Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home00:02:26 The Emotions Wheel and Learning to Label00:04:47 Different versions of the Emotion Wheel00:07:39 1. Anger00:08:46 6. Disgust 00:09:53 7. Fear 00:10:53 8. Happy 00:12 ... Show More
34m 23s
Dec 2021
L'empathie, un outil pour mieux se connaître
Abonnez-vous à la newsletter pour cultiver votre curiosité, échanger avec moi et recevoir un petit guide qui vous accompagnera dans votre pratique de l'écoute (Si vous ne recevez pas l'email avec votre guide à télécharger après quelques minutes, pensez à vérifier vos spams !) Vou ... Show More
22m 42s
Jan 2019
I Feel for You: Empaths and empathy
Empathy is the psycho-political buzzword of the day. President Obama said - frequently - that America's empathy deficit was more important than the Federal deficit. Bill Clinton said "I feel your pain", and Hillary urged us all "to see the world through our neighbour’s eyes, to i ... Show More
28m 19s
Feb 2024
Applied Empathy for Strengthening Relationships and Networking
In today’s episode, we tackle empathy with Michael Ventura, Paul Bloom, Geoffrey Cohen, and Rick Hanson. Michael Ventura is the author of Applied Empathy: The New Language of Leadership. Paul Bloom is a professor at the University of Toronto and author of Against Empathy: The Cas ... Show More
55m 28s
Sep 2023
The Foundation Of Empathy Is Perspective
Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-homeHear it Here - adbl.co/3OJ4V72 • Empathy is the ability to share someone else’s feelings or experiences by imagining what it would be like to be in that person’s situation, a ... Show More
46m 7s
Nov 2021
211 - Toxic Positivity
“To be always fortunate, and to pass through life with a soul that has never known sorrow, is to be ignorant of one half of nature.”― SenecaLife is never meant to be kittens and rainbows. A good portion of our life is going to sadness, disappointment, and failure. In this episode ... Show More
12m 50s
Mar 2022
154 - Friday Fix: How to Be Mentally Strong When You’re Experiencing Uncomfortable Emotions
Sometimes, people assume that experiencing an uncomfortable emotion (like sadness or anxiety, is a sign of weakness). This is not true. In fact, allowing yourself to fully experience an uncomfortable emotion is a sign of strength, not weakness. It’s easier to push your feelings a ... Show More
9m 12s
Oct 2021
Jusqu'où peut on aller par empathie extrême ?
Jusqu’où iriez-vous par empathie pour quelqu’un ? Pourriez-vous annuler un week-end prévu de longue date, pour aider un ami en pleine rupture ? Ou accepter un rendez-vous auquel vous n’avez pas envie d’aller, juste pour ne pas vexer l’autre ? Savoir écouter, partager les peines, ... Show More
52m 23s