logo
episode-header-image
Aug 2022
1h 6m

Can You Really Conquer Hatred Through Lo...

10% Happier
About this episode

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.

---

The idea of loving people no matter what— no matter how obnoxious or unacceptable their behavior is can sound simultaneously treacly and downright impossible. 

But today's guest Father Gregory Boyle talks about the practicality of this idea by showing how the concept of loving no matter what can be used as a tool— not to condone bad behavior but to help see people as doing their best, no matter how unskillfully. 

Father Gregory Boyle is a Jesuit priest who founded a remarkable organization called Homeboy Industries, which is the largest gang intervention, rehabilitation, and reentry program in the world. He has a new book out called, The Whole Language: The Power of Extravagant Tenderness

In this episode we talk about:

  • How Homeboy Industries began 34 years ago
  • Boyle’s practices for working with stress 
  • What he means when he says you have to put death in its place
  • Motivating people through joy rather than admonition
  • How to catch yourself when you’re about to demonize or be judgmental
  • How to set boundaries
  • How to dole out consequences without closing the doors to anybody
  • And we talk about Father Boyle’s quite expansive and inclusive notion of God

Content warnings: There are mentions of sensitive topics including, sexual trauma, violence, drug abuse and domestic abuse. 

Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/father-gregory-boyle-486

Up next
Yesterday
Three Strategies for Getting Over Yourself | Joseph Goldstein
Every year, Joseph Goldstein does a three month silent meditation retreat by himself at his home in Massachusetts. In this conversation you're about to hear, Joseph had just emerged from one such retreat with a bunch of thoughts on what are called the three proliferating tendenci ... Show More
1h 16m
Oct 8
How To Find Calm in a World on Fire | Pico Iyer
The antidote to a noisy, chaotic world. Pico Iyer is the acclaimed and bestselling author of more than a dozen books translated into twenty-three languages, most recently the nationally bestselling Aflame: Learning from Silence. In this episode we talk about: Why and how Pico fou ... Show More
1h 9m
Oct 6
Are You a Grudge Holder or a Revenge Seeker? Here’s How It’s Hurting You – And How To Get Over It | James Kimmel, Jr.
The psychology and neuroscience of revenge. James Kimmel, Jr. is a lecturer in psychiatry at the Yale School of Medicine, an expert on revenge, a lawyer, and the founder and co-director of the Yale Collaborative for Motive Control Studies. He is the creator of The Nonjustice Syst ... Show More
1h 11m
Recommended Episodes
Aug 2023
Adam Carolla's Guide to Overcoming Adversity and Finding Your Voice
The Summit of Greatness is back! Buy your tickets today – summitofgreatness.com – Adam Carolla is a well-known comedian, podcast host, actor, and author. He gained fame as the co-host of the radio and television show "Loveline" and later became a prominent figure in the podcastin ... Show More
1h 18m
Nov 2020
How I Built Resilience: Father Gregory Boyle of Homeboy Industries
Father Gregory Boyle is the founder of Homeboy Industries, one of the largest gang-intervention, rehabilitation and re-entry programs in the world. He speaks with Guy about how the Los Angeles based organization has adapted to continue training and employing people during the pan ... Show More
25m 20s
Nov 2022
TMHS 635: Why Improving Mental Health Is The Key To Solving Our World’s Biggest Conflicts - With Zachary Levi
Developing healthy habits and routines often comes down to self-love. Because when you truly care for yourself, it’s often reflected in the way you eat, move, sleep, and think. Today’s guest, Zachary Levi, is here to share his personal journey of learning to accept himself, heal ... Show More
1h 29m
Jun 2024
Alok Vaid-Menon: Accepting Yourself - How to Not Let the Judgement of Others Mold Who You Are
Real compassion breaks down the barriers that divide us. It's not just about doing nice things, it's about creating a safety net of care. True compassion blurs the lines between "me" and "you." It's about understanding that we're all connected and that looking out for each other ... Show More
1h 7m
Nov 2023
"I Was Almost a School Shooter." Aaron Stark's Journey to Hope | What’s Underneath: Masculinity
In a surprisingly uplifting discussion, mental health and gun control advocate Aaron Stark shares his harrowing journey from a childhood marred by extreme abuse and instability to the brink of becoming a school shooter. Stark's candid narrative begins with his early years, domina ... Show More
1h 7m
Sep 2019
Sean Stephenson: How To Leave People Breathless
The next professor on the School of Greatness is known as the “Three Foot Giant”. He grew up suffering from a condition in which his brittle bones were incredibly prone to damage.  He broke more than 200 bones in his lifetime and the emotional and physical pain he endured is incr ... Show More
53m 41s
Jan 2021
David Duchovny: Some lessons take years to sink in
Before his rise to fame, David Duchovny is a popular kid – charming, funny, bright and athletic, beloved by friends and teachers alike. But there’s one teacher who puts David off-balance, calling him out for foolishness where others see charm. Years after graduation, struggling t ... Show More
32m 11s
May 2019
Father Greg Boyle Shares The Meaning of Radical Kinship
"The minute you can kind of say, wow, the widow, orphan stranger, the folks at the margins, these are my trustworthy guides, I'm going to go there so they can lead me to the kinship. Oh God. Well that's, you've just turned privilege on its head because you're not guiding them or ... Show More
53m 24s
Oct 2023
Doctor Gabor Mate: I Regret My Interview With Prince Harry! The Shocking Link Between Kindness & Illness!
Being nice is bad for your health, while being angry is healthy, Dr. Gabor Mate unpacks the inner depths that lie beneath the personality you show to the world. In this new episode Steven sits down again with world-renowned trauma and addiction expert, Dr. Gabor Mate. Dr. Gabor M ... Show More
1h 53m