Looking back, I can now describe my time in treatment as the most difficult, most exposed, and most rewarding time of my life. I started to pull the wool back from my eyes and began to see how my approach to 'strength' hurt me, hurt others around me, and nearly cost me my life.
While in treatment I learned how many of my addictive behaviours and anxiety-producing thoughts were shame-based thoughts that I was not surrendering. Even today much of my fear-based thinking comes from a false belief that I'm in control. There continue to be times when I dissociate and go somewhere inside as I try to numb or run from the idea that I have to handle everything in my life all by myself.
Surrender is a day-to-day learning experience in my life and as I focus on shifting my mindset and approach, I'm slowly starting to realize that I don't actually have to do life on my own.
I am surrounded by help.
I am part of a loving community of friends and family.
I am a valuable and loved child of God, and so are you
You are accepted and loved unconditionally by God who made you exactly as you are. You, your heart, your mind, your body, your spirit, your gender expression, your sexuality, and the way you love, are created perfectly in God’s image.
You are designed as an ultra-social being who is wired to connect and be in community with others. You have been designed to be deeply known and you experience that knowing when you surrender and safely open yourself up with others and allow yourself to be seen.
You are created on purpose and your purpose is to fully love yourself, connect deeply with others and share your love with the rest of the world.
James
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