logo
episode-header-image
Mar 2022
20m 36s

When You Think You Know Your Parents

The New York Times
About this episode

Ariel Sabar was visiting his parents in his childhood home in California, when he awoke one morning to high-pitched giggles coming from his parents’ room. He opened the door to a Norman Rockwell-type image: his father, 70, riding his stationary bike in his pajamas; and his 6-year-old son perched on its frame, cheerleading for his grandfather.

Ariel was stunned: “As a boy, I’d seen this house as a battlefield, a place where children and parents less often joshed than jousted,” he wrote in his 2009 Modern Love essay. Was his relationship with his father as turbulent as he remembered, or had he blinded himself to happier times?

In today’s episode, Ariel starts to see his father in a new light, as his son brings them closer together. Then, we hear a Tiny Love Story about a woman who took a DNA test that led to a life-changing discovery (fun fact: coincidentally, she is a geneticist).

Join Modern Love for a virtual event on March 9 (RSVP at nytimes.com/morningatnight). And if you’re an undergraduate at an American college or university, submit your story to our college essay contest. Visit nytimes.com/essaycontest for details. 

Up next
Oct 8
Tessa Thompson on Finding What You Want (What You Really, Really Want)
Tessa Thompson’s latest role is an infamously chaotic one: Hedda Gabler. Adapted from the classic play by Henrik Ibsen, “Hedda,” in select theaters Oct. 22, casts Thompson as a 1950s housewife who feels snubbed by an old lover and stifled in a new marriage. For Hedda, the only ex ... Show More
39m 50s
Oct 1
For Her 70th Birthday, She Hired an Escort
Gail Rice, a writer and a therapist, was approaching her 70th birthday. She had given up on dating apps and hadn’t had a romantic connection with anyone in years. But for her 70th, she wanted a very specific birthday present: an orgasm.So Rice decided to hire an escort. In this e ... Show More
36m 54s
Sep 24
How an Off-Script Moment Changed Jay Duplass’s Life
Jay Duplass knows the power of improvisation. Many years ago, an unscripted, cliffside interaction changed his life, helping to set in motion the events that would lead to his new movie, “The Baltimorons.” The film features a newly sober comedian and a workaholic dentist who meet ... Show More
42m 32s
Recommended Episodes
Jun 2021
Father's Day Special: The Good, The Bad, and The Unexpected
On this episode of the Our American Stories podcast, we bring you stories about outstanding fathers and fathers who don't make the grade. Leslie Leyland Fields tells us about the heart-breaking relationship between her and her father. And it's not what you'd expect; Taylor Brown ... Show More
39m 32s
Sep 2023
Mom With a Second on the Way
This week’s caller just found out she’s pregnant with her second child. She and Gethard commiserate over the joys of parenting– like when your kid uses you as a human napkin. She also tells him about the worst member of her wedding party, and the two share their mutual love for w ... Show More
1h 29m
Feb 2023
My Dad Was An Axe Murderer
Imagine growing up with a secret so big, you had to change your name. A young man opens up about finding out that his father was an axe murderer. He describes what it was like meeting his dad for the first time in prison. He shares what happened when he realized that his college ... Show More
1 h
Sep 2020
Il était un père
Quand un test ADN révèle le secret de ma famille Suite à un test ADN, Leslie découvre que son père n’est pas son père. Son père biologique est en fait son parrain, qui fut autrefois l’amant de sa mère. Leslie se confronte à son histoire et à ses deux familles. Alors que le père r ... Show More
29m 51s
Dec 2021
EP141: A Most Valued Gift… FROM a Homeless Man, Indians, a Jew, and a Hotel Partnership, Her Career is a Tribute to Her Great Uncle, A D-Day Hero and Working with Dad Taught Big Lessons to a Little Bo
On this episode of Our American Stories, Larry Crawford shares with us how a homeless friend gave him one of his most valued possessions; Mike Leven tells the story about how he—a Jew—started the Asian American Hotel Owners Association; Heather McPherson, Curator of History at th ... Show More
38m 16s
Oct 2021
EP94: Roller Skating In The House, Our Parents Insisted That Dinner Was Family Time and Lee Habeeb On An Ethics Education From His Father
On this episode of Our American Stories, Joy Neal Kidney shares the story of her childhood home...and roller skating in it; Dave Van Andel's and Barb Gaby’s touching tribute to their parents…. Jay and Betty Van Andel; and Lee Habeeb shares a story from his childhood on an ethics ... Show More
38m 16s
Oct 2017
Dads and Daughters
The relationship between fathers and daughters has been the subject of countless cultural explorations down the centuries, from Elektra's distress to Bonjour Tristesse. Some of them are idealised ('To Kill A Mockingbird', 'All the Lights We Cannot See'); some highly damaging and ... Show More
31m 11s