logo
episode-header-image
Apr 2019
1h 14m

In love with someone that wants it both ...

PAUL COLAIANNI
About this episode

Are you waiting for someone else to change so that you can get what you want?

In this episode, I talk about an email I received from a woman who fell in love with a man who went back with his wife. However, he now cheats on his wife to be with her. This has caused her to become obsessive, thinking about him all the time and waiting in pain for him to leave his wife and come back to her.

He has it both ways: A wife and family, and a mistress on the side. What is the incentive for him to change?

Love and Abuse is the official podcast of The M.E.A.N. Workbook on manipulation and emotional abuse at loveandabuse.com. #loveandabuse

Up next
Yesterday
Can you heal from severe abuse while still in a severely abusive situation?
Some people will deflect blame and make you feel like the problem. In this episode, I dive into this subject by examining a heart-wrenching story from a listener whose partner’s jealousy turned violent, leaving her questioning the future of their relationship and her path to heal ... Show More
45m 22s
Sep 17
Why you may not be ready to call it abuse when it is abuse
The emotionally abusive relationship can sometimes be hard to define. How long must abusive behavior go on before actually admit that what's really happening is abuse? 
25m 44s
Sep 3
Do you end the relationship because they won't?
How do you know when it’s time to instigate a split? If your partner’s behavior leaves you feeling oppressed and defeated, and they refuse to change, and they also don't want to end the relationship, then what? 
31m 14s
Recommended Episodes
May 2023
What Happens When You Take The Cheater Back?
You’re a husband. A good guy, a strong provider and a very present dad. Despite that, your wife goes out and cheats on you. You struggle to hold your marriage together and somehow you manage to. But what happens if once again your wife’s behavior starts to get well, weird. Do you ... Show More
49m 30s
Nov 2022
Someone Cheated. Now What?
Infidelity - it’s one of the most painful emotional experiences out there. But once the pain heals, it can also create enormous opportunities for growth and self-reflection.In this episode, I’ll unpack infidelity and all the ways it can play out. It doesn’t always mean the end of ... Show More
46m 51s
Oct 2023
I Can’t Hate My Husband’s Lover Anymore
A woman comes into your husband’s life and captures his heart. Your husband and his new lover share emotional and physical intimacy and he can’t seem to leave this other woman’s side. His affair threatens your marriage, family, peace and serenity. This is what happened to my gues ... Show More
37m 48s
May 2024
Is Your Sex Life Suffering After an Affair? Marriage Helper Can Help
Enjoy the episode? Send us a text!Feeling lost and hopeless after an affair? You're not alone. Wondering how to rebuild intimacy and reignite passion with your spouse? This video is for YOU. You can save your marriage.Marriage Helper Expert Dr. Joe Beam offers guidance and h ... Show More
24m 10s
Jul 2021
#253 - Repair Your Self Esteem After a Breakup
Has Your Breakup or Divorce Shattered Your Self Esteem? I have spent years helping broken hearted people with divorce and break-up recovery counseling and coaching, and poured through oceans of research to write my book, "Exaholics: Breaking your addiction to an Ex Love." I've sp ... Show More
1h 3m
Dec 2019
If You Love Someone, Let Them Go
Enjoy the episode? Send us a text!You've heard it phrased in various ways. "If you love someone, let them go. If they come back to you, they are yours forever. If they don't come back, they never were yours." What a ridiculous idea! Maybe it originated with someone tryi ... Show More
1h 4m
Nov 2023
"Wrong Person, Right Time"
I'm joined by a woman who opens up about an emotionally abusive relationship she was in and how she was able to grow and learn from it, and break her unhealthy dating patterns. We hear how he "removed labels" from the relationship and the emotional impact it had on he, how he beg ... Show More
58m 16s
Jun 2024
I Stayed After The Cheating, But I Can’t Stop Thinking of Their Affair
Your husband has an affair. You take the conventional path and seek out couples’ therapy and probably individual therapy. It feels like the persistent negative thoughts, ruminations about his affair, visions of his intimacy with the affair partner, the anger and resentment won’t ... Show More
25m 20s
May 2024
My Wife Cheated On Me With A Homeless Man
You're a husband. A good guy, a strong provider and a very present father. Despite that, your wife is not satisfied and has an affair with a man who has substance abuse issues, an unstable job history and troubles with the law. Guided by your faith, you manage to hold your marria ... Show More
48m 43s