logo
episode-header-image
Jul 2021
50m 26s

Esther Perel – The Erotic Is an Antidote...

ON BEING STUDIOS
About this episode

The psychotherapist Esther Perel has changed our discourse about sexuality and coupledom with her TED talks, her books, and her podcast, Where Should We Begin? Episode after episode lays bare the theater of relationship, which is also the drama of being human. Her insights speak to the flip side of social isolation — the intense experience many have now had of togetherness. And her deep understanding of “erotic intelligence” feels so interesting as we grapple with emergent dynamics of the human condition writ large — coupled or not, and both intimate and societal.

Esther Perel has a private couples and family therapy practice in New York. She hosts two podcasts, Where Should We Begin? and How’s Work? and is the creator of a new game called, Where Should We Begin? - A Game of Stories. She is also the author of two TED talks and two books, Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence and The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity.

Find the transcript for this show at onbeing.org.

This show originally aired on July 11, 2019.

Up next
Jul 22
Joanna Macy, In Memoriam — Beauty and Wisdom and Courage (and Rilke) to Sustain Us
This rich, gorgeous conversation will fill your soul. The singular and beloved Joanna Macy died at home at the age of 96 on July 20, 2025. She has left an immense legacy of beauty and wisdom and courage to sustain us. A Buddhist teacher, ecological philosopher, and Rilke translat ... Show More
50m 57s
Jul 10
Ross Gay — Hope Portal, Episode 7
Ross Gay is a poet, community gardener, and teacher who brings another way of wisdom to the conviction that we have to know what we love and what delights us. And that we have to tend to that as fiercely as to what is broken and what we’re called to make better, what we’re called ... Show More
10m 19s
Jul 3
Joy Harjo — The Hope Portal Ep. 6
Our teacher this time is the extraordinary Joy Harjo. She is a musician, a visual artist, a member of the Muscogee Creek Nation, and she’s also former Poet Laureate of the United States. From the beginning of her life, from childhood and even before, she has carried and retained ... Show More
17m 9s
Recommended Episodes
Aug 2023
Esther Perel on Artificial Intimacy
For all the talk about AI, we rarely hear about how it will change our relationships. As we swipe to find love and consult chatbot therapists, acclaimed psychotherapist and relationship expert Esther Perel warns that there’s another harmful “AI” on the rise — Artificial Intimacy ... Show More
44m 7s
Oct 2022
From the Archives: Esther Perel || Love, Eros, and Infidelity
In celebration of our first year anniversary with Stitcher, we’re re-releasing one of our favorite episodes from the past year with Esther Perel.Esther Perel is a psychotherapist and a New York Times bestselling author, recognized as one of today’s most insightful and original vo ... Show More
1 h
Nov 2021
Esther Perel || Love, Eros, and Infidelity
In this episode, I talk to renowned psychotherapist and author Esther Perel about love and relationships. We tackle the true essence of the word “eros” and “freedom” in the context of romantic relationships. Esther offers her perspective on marriage and affairs, getting to the ro ... Show More
1h 3m
Aug 2023
Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel: Friendship — My Reliable Gift
Today, we’re sharing an episode of Where Should We Begin?, a Vox Media podcast hosted by the iconic psychotherapist Esther Perel. Listen in as real people in search of insight bare the raw, intimate, and profound details of their stories. In this episode, a Where Should We Begin ... Show More
58m 34s
Sep 2023
22: Realism and Other Romances feat. Grace Lavery
Abby and Patrick welcome writer and academic Grace Lavery to discuss her new book Pleasure and Efficacy: Of Pen Names, Cover Versions, and Other Trans Techniques. They discuss Grace’s relationship to psychoanalysis; her uses of Freud and Freudianism for both theoretical and pragm ... Show More
1h 29m
Oct 2019
Psychotherapy pioneers: Esther Perel and Susie Orbach
While therapy was once considered the reserve of the rich, it's now part of many people's lives as they deal with trauma, relationship breakdown, and behavioural problems. But it remains relatively exclusive and incredibly private. Kim Chakanetsa is joined by Susie Orbach and Est ... Show More
27m 5s
Jul 2023
Esther Perel
Psychotherapist, author and podcaster Esther Perel joins me to talk all about power and desire, pornography and relationships, infidelity, and the reasons why we cheat. Plus, she breaks down some of the biggest shifts she’s seen over the last four decades of her couples therapy p ... Show More
50m 49s
Nov 2019
Mating in Captivity, Esther Perel
Psychotherapist and New York Times bestselling author Esther Perel is recognized as one of today’s most insightful and original voices on modern relationships. Perel provides her insight on such topics as: how to make a relationship work in today’s society, the real reasons why w ... Show More
1h 9m
Aug 2023
Re-Release: Esther Perel
Re-releasing this insightful conversation between Jameela & psychotherapist, author, and podcaster-extraordinaire Esther Perel, as her podcast 'Where Should We Begin?' returns for a new season.   The two discuss how our expectations of marriage have changed over the past 100 year ... Show More
58m 1s
Jun 2023
Esther Perel (Re-release)
In this special flashback episode, Anna is joined by world-renowned psychotherapist, New York Times best-selling author, podcast host, Fortune 500 consultant, and relationship expert Esther Perel. Esther talks with Anna about how languages can be a lens into relationships, listen ... Show More
50m 4s